Losing a loved one is always hard, but dealing with it during the holidays can be especially difficult. Since the holidays bring families together, many times that seems to be when someone is missed the most. Unfortunately, I have lost both of my grandfathers. Both were very strong, loving, Christian men.
When it comes to the holidays, though, my Grandpa Reaves seems to be the most influential. My Papaw Reaves was a minister, a husband, a father, a grandfather, and a farmer. I really don’t think there was very much he couldn’t do. Papaw loved the holidays. He always loved it when we were all together, but at Christmas he seemed to be even more cheerful. I will never forget him coming in with the video camera to tape everything that happened. I remember the time he convinced all the grandkids that we saw Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer out his back door so we had to go to bed or Santa would not leave presents.
Papaw died of cancer in July of 1999. I was 16. I know every day that part of him is in me. My memories of him will live on through me and my son and hopefully for generations to come. I was very close to my grandparents. Growing up, my sister and I spent almost every summer at their house. We went on vacations with them, and to this day my Grandma is one of my biggest fans. I don’t know where I would be without her love and support. But when Papaw died, it seemed as though for a few days, nothing mattered.
At first it seemed so surreal. We lived rather far away and my mom had flown to Missouri to be with my grandparents because we knew Papaw was ill. Unfortunately, Papaw passed away before her plane landed. The next week was all slow motion. I remember packing to drive the long distance to Missouri. I know I was at the viewing and the funeral, but I could not tell you what was said, or who was there.
My sister and I stayed for a week with my grandma after everyone else had gone home. It was so weird being in the house without him there. Seeing the pain on my grandma’s face and walking through the yard where he used to garden just didn’t seem fair. He was only 65. There was so much I wanted him to see. I wanted him to see me get married and have a family. I wanted him to do for my children the things he had so wonderfully done for me.
As time passed, I slowly began to realize that all I had thought about was how much his death was affecting my life. What about my mom, who had just lost her father, or my grandma, who had lost her husband? Being a wife now, I can’t imagine the pain she was going through. I know when we stayed with her after he died, there must have been so many times when she just wanted to stay in bed and cry, but didn’t because we were there.
Some people are able to cope with a loss by talking about it. Find a friend, a parent, or even a school counselor if you feel you need to talk. Remember the good things about that person. Focus on how you can show others the same love that person showed you. Look through old pictures when you need to. Shortly after Papaw passed, my grandma gave me a picture of him on his tractor help me remember him.
When my paternal grandfather died in June of this year after an extended illness, a member of the family told me that she had already forgotten some of the things she loved about him––his smell, his laugh. That can happen. I know I have forgotten things about Papaw Reaves, but then I will pass someone who smells like him and I will remember his scent. Just remember that your memories don’t have to be forced. Little things that you loved about them may seem forgotten but sometimes something will happen, a gesture or smell, and you will think of that person.
One of the difficult parts for some is talking to people who have recently lost a loved one. What should you say? Remember that everyone is different. You don’t have to say anything. Sometimes just a card saying that you are thinking and praying for them means a lot. Perhaps if it is someone who is widowed, spend time with them.
Grieving is a process, but it is a different process for each of us. Some of us cry, some get angry, and some just want to be alone. While I can’t tell you how you should grieve, I can tell you that God will make your grieving easier. He alone can heal that pain and give you peace to accept His will. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).
By Sarah J. Ancheta
The purpose of this series on the fruit of the Spirit is to explain how God has given us many gifts with the intent of making our lives happy. God designed us with free will so that we might choose to love and obey Him 
If you are dating a boy who is not very experienced at expressing how he feels you will definitely have to work at being patient with him. Resist the temptation to get frustrated and angry, because sometimes they can’t tell you how they feel at the exact moment you want them to. Be careful, however, if he never wants to talk about his feelings, or is consistently avoiding any serious discussions. This is a character flaw that will only worsen after marriage. Sometimes, though, you may just have to be patient and give him time––time alone to think about it and figure out how to put his feelings into words. And when he is ready, he will explain to you what’s going on in his life. If you can do this, you will be practicing the gift of patience by giving him time to think and then listening to how he is feeling. Every now and then it may be hard to be patient and you will accidentally mess up. When this happens you should ask your boyfriend for forgiveness and ask God for forgiveness as well 
One example that comes to mind right now is a situation that I once had with my boyfriend. I was feeling hurt because he wanted to stay home instead of going to watch a play with me. I was really disappointed and sad, but I also knew that I was over-reacting. About twenty minutes after we got off the phone I realized how unkind I was being. He had spent every day after school at football and he had gone every night that week to our congregation’s gospel meeting; he had not had any time at home in awhile. He deserved a break and he deserved some kindness and understanding from me. So I called him back and apologized for being upset and told him I was glad he was choosing to take a night off. Even though I had made the mistake of over-reacting and not being kind, I quickly realized that that was not how God wanted me to treat someone I loved. That is just one of the everyday experiences my boyfriend and I have in our relationship using the gifts from God and the Holy Spirit.
Some examples of what you can do in any relationship to show goodness are being reliable, trustworthy, enjoyable, and noble. One way you can demonstrate goodness in a dating situation is by always being reliable and trustworthy. Allow them to lean on you and confide in you by always keeping your word in a godly manner. When they are willing to tell you something that is personal, they are showing you that they trust you; don’t destroy that trust by telling others a secret. This is, of course, something that a genuine Christian boy should also do for you. He should be someone you can trust and rely on for all situations in life. Goodness toward others will make your life simpler and others treating you with goodness will assist in making your life a happy one.
This month, some of the staff is offering their own favorite Christmas movie review. So, choose one of these, or grab your own favorite, curl up with a blanket and cup of hot chocolate, and enjoy the spirit, or humor, of the season.
I love 
10.) Make your own 
4.) Give the gift of prayer. Pray for all the less fortunate during this time (and all year long).
Many Christians are divided on how the Christmas holiday should be celebrated. Some people celebrate Christmas as Christ’s birth; some feel that it’s wrong to celebrate Christmas at all; and others are somewhere in between. Growing up, I can remember the topic arising and the argument being made that because Christmas is not substantiated biblically, we should reject it. I think many people assume they understand the meaning behind the holiday, without looking up its background for themselves.
evidence suggests that His birth may have occurred in the spring, Pope Julius I chose December 25. It is commonly believed that the church chose this date in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival. First called the Feast of the Nativity, the custom spread to Egypt by AD 432 and to England by the end of the sixth century. By the end of the eighth century, the celebration of Christmas had spread all the way to Scandinavia.
The holiday season is upon us. Let the decorating, baking, list making, shopping, wrapping, hiding, cooking, eating, and singing begin! Sounds like fun, right? But, why do we do it? Because everyone does it? Because we have always done it? Because we like to receive gifts? The answer is probably yes to all three. But the best reason is because we like to give!
When we think of giving, we usually think of putting money in the contribution plate at church, or giving a gift to a friend or family member. This kind of giving is good and makes us happy. But the Bible shows us examples of several different kinds of giving. Let’s look at some of them and see if we can get an idea of how we can be more giving in our lives.
Luke 21:1: “And he [Jesus] looked up, and saw the rich men casting their gifts into the treasury. And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And he said, ‘Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all: For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury [poverty] hath cast in all the living that she had.’” The widow who gave two mites was blessed more than the rich who gave more, because she gave all she had, and the rich only gave a tiny portion of their wealth. The widow’s giving was a true sacrifice, as was David’s in 2 Samuel 24:24. Jesus is trying to teach us that we don’t have to give a large amount to the church to be pleasing to God or to receive the blessings that come from giving. This widow knew the truth about giving––that God will provide for a cheerful giver in a way that will eventually allow them to give more! As you grow and enter into the working world, make giving to the church first on your list of priorities. You will never regret it.
How many gifts do you think you’ll receive this Christmas? A dozen? Two dozen? More? Although receiving gifts is not what this season should be about, it is sad to think about the many children who will not get to experience the innocent, pure joy of finding gifts under the tree on Christmas morning. I’m sure that most of us have never had to wake up to a room void of gifts on this most memorable of mornings. We often don’t even have to worry about not getting that most coveted gift we’ve been thinking about for months—it’s usually there, waiting for us. But do we ever pause to think about the quiet disappointment that fills so many houses every Christmas? Not the disappointment of not finding that treasured gift among the other twenty, but of not even expecting a single gift at all.
When you are finished shopping, package the items however the sponsor wishes, and, most importantly, return them with your angel paper back to the appropriate location on time. If you toss or lose the angel paper in the process of shopping, there will be no way for the sponsor to locate which child you’ve shopped for (although they do often write down your name and the angel’s ID number when you select it).
This month’s theme is “Pierce my heart to give.” If you’re like most young women, you’re probably thinking, I’d like to give, but what can I do? There are a lot of great ideas for giving back, not only in 
Shop sales. Ask your mom, or another experienced bargain shopper, to help you find good deals and sales on Christmas items. You can also scan your local paper for deals. If you’re pressed for time, 
Breakfast Ideas:
The holidays are a time when many of us are with our families. I know that some of us have lost people who we’re very close to, often making this time of year a season of mixed feelings. There are also some families who are unable to, or aren’t interested in, volunteering time or money to those in need. If that is the case in your home, ask friends to join you in one or more of these activities, or join a friend’s family as they volunteer to share their blessings, because this time of year is a perfect time to round up your family or friends and give. This year, choose to contribute money or time to help others have a memorable season, which in turn is giving back to God 
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