We recently received the following question from a mom, and due to the family content in the question and answer, we decided to post it in our family column this month, in hopes that it will help other moms and daughters struggling with similar issues.
I am a mom, dealing with an 18-year-old daughter who has her first boyfriend. He is 23–a scary thing for me. Anyway, my daughter thinks it’s fine to be on the phone at all hours of the early morning. I know this is wrong. She says, “Get over it, Mom; it’s summer. I can talk to him whenever I want.” Well . . . can you show her why it is not wise, let alone that her parents have asked her not to do it, and month after month she still does it?
Dear Concerned Mom,
Your question has caused some debate among a few of the staff members, so we are going to take the best of what everyone had to say and try to give you a practical answer.
First of all, it’s important to remember that your daughter is 18, and an adult. She is old enough to vote, get married, go to war, attend college, or move away from home. Most people will test their limits and want to try out new freedoms as they reach adulthood, and that is very normal. If the only thing your daughter is doing is talking to her boyfriend on the phone too much, that might be something to let slide. If, however, she is sneaking her boyfriend into her room at night or staying out with him until three in the morning, action will need to be taken.
Since this is your daughter’s first relationship, this is a very new and exciting time in her life, and if you are making a big deal of her talking on the phone too late at night, she is probably not going to feel like she can share this part of her life with you. If you place too many restrictions on her, she may rebel and be pushed closer to her boyfriend and farther away from you, which will hurt both you and her.
Before you do anything else, pray! Pray that God will open your daughter’s eyes to the type of person her boyfriend really is if he’s not good for her, and pray that God will open your heart to your daughter’s boyfriend if he is good for her. Pray for wisdom on how to handle the situation.
If you have serious concerns about your daughter’s relationship with her boyfriend, we recommend sitting down with your daughter, at a neutral time, and lovingly voicing your concerns about her relationship. Begin this session with a joint prayer, asking God to open both of your hearts to each other, and to help you both understand how the other person feels. Explain to your daughter that you’re concerned for her, and that while you understand being in a relationship is very exciting, it’s not wise to allow a relationship to take over one’s life. If staying up all night on the phone is causing her to be too tired to go to work or help out at home during the day, that is a problem, so lovingly discuss that with her. If you have made a bigger deal than you should have made about the situation, ask her forgiveness during your discussion. Tell her that you want her to feel like she can share things with you, then make a sincere effort to not judge her or give her advice unless she asks. Just listen to her. Listen to her tell you why she likes her boyfriend, let her tell you about what she sees in him, and love her as she explains to you what she wants in a future spouse. If your daughter isn’t ready to talk, respect that too, and let her know that the door is open whenever she’s ready to share that part of her life with you.
After you pray and talk to your daughter, let go. Remember that she is an adult and that she will mess up, but that’s just part of growing up. Love her and be willing to comfort her when she’s hurting, but allow her to be an adult. You’ve raised her for eighteen years, and now you can start to stand back a little and enjoy the fruit of your labor!
Sincerely,
A few of the moms at Pierce My Heart
Q. Dear Rachel,
Q. I love your magazine!!! I have a question. We left our church and I don’t like the one we are going to right now. There are only about 5 kids; none of them are my age. And the congregation is mostly elderly people. How should I tell my mom I don’t like it? Thanks!!!
Q. Dear Rachel,
The issue is never the issue. In this case, it seems to be that good guys are not attracted to you, but the real issue is that you are not attracted to the good guys who are attracted to you. And isn’t that how relationships are
There are guys out there that have their heads in the clouds, and there are some who have their heads in the sand. As funny as it might sound, these are the guys that girls seem to notice initially. The first guy is mysterious and romantic; the other is like a lost puppy begging for someone to take care of him
The Bible is here, and it has been here for literally thousands of years. That it is an ancient and highly regarded book, no one can deny. But is it written by intelligence higher and greater than man? How did the Bible get here? How did it come to be? That is the question at issue. Christians believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, that it is a revelation of the mind and will of the Creator Himself, that it was written by inspiration of God and is, therefore, without mistake or error (inerrant and infallible).
A. THE CLAIMS OF THE BIBLE ITSELF. The Bible directly, expressly, and clearly claims to be the Word of God in numerous places (see, for example, such passages as 
The apostles claimed to be speaking, preaching, teaching, and writing that which came by direct revelation from God, the commandments of the Lord, and that what they wrote was scripture! This was, in fact, exactly what Jesus had promised them, that the Holy Spirit would guide them into remembrance of what Jesus said, and into all truth (
One must deal with the fact that the writers of the Bible specifically stated their writings came by revelation from God. For the believer, this is no difficulty at all. On the other hand, if one does not believe in God, then he must explain how the Bible came to be. If it is not from God, then who wrote it? And if it is not from God, why did all the writers claim it was? Were they all mistaken, or were they deliberate liars?
It’s time for school to start again. No more time for sleeping in and having all day to procrastinate on projects. We will begin to focus much of our minds on getting supplies, finishing up our summer work, and getting new clothes (which really isn’t bad…). We’ll be overtaken with getting everything ready, eventually starting school, and doing the homework from the early “starting” days of school that our teachers will probably give to us.
I went to the Dollar General store and got a girl’s backpack (they only had girls’, no neutral), thirty eraser caps, twelve colored pencils, six mechanical pencils, a portable pencil sharpener, two folders, and glue. The most expensive thing I bought was the backpack. I spent about $9 total on this project. That’s pretty good, especially considering how much we tend to spend on our own school supplies. I also looked around my house for things that I knew I would never use. For example, unsharpened wooden pencils. If you have any loose-leaf paper at home, you can take that too. I took the supplies to the local primary school and said that I’d like to donate the backpack and everything in it to the school to be given to a child who needed it. You might want to call a school in your area and ask them if they accept donations.
According to Matthew 6:3-4, we are commanded to give to the poor, without announcing to everyone what we are doing. “But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” We can help others more than we know. We need to consider others to be as important as ourselves. God has given us time, and we need to give some of that back to Him, and use that time to show others who He is.
I used to love the beginning of the school year—new books (I love to read!), new clothes, new pencils, new backpacks. Basically, I just love fresh starts.
There are several ways you, the reader, can be involved in our magazine! Visit 
My freshman year was one of the hardest times in my life. I moved to a different city, away from all of my friends, including my two best friends. I started attending a public high school after being home schooled for two years, and I was having a rough time with other things in my life as well. I made friends, but only two of them really understood my heart. One of them was Seth. Seth was a grade below me and in a different school, but we rode the same bus. He always sat directly behind me and would ask how I was doing. He could tell the minute he walked on the bus if I was having a bad day. He always knew instinctively what would make me feel better, whether it was leaving me alone, telling me jokes until I had to laugh, or listening to me tell him about my bad day.
There are so many people around us every day who need to know about God. The girl who wears the mini skirts and belly shirts is begging to be loved. She doesn’t know that what she’s missing is God’s love. The guy who makes mean jokes in order to feel superior needs to know the God who is King 
Many of us want to be well known at school and to have something we stand for. This school year, let’s stand for Christ. Let’s learn about Him so we can be an example to others around us. The best way to begin sharing Him with others is to learn about His love by studying His word. We can’t tell others what we don’t know ourselves. We can read our Bibles first thing in the morning, on the bus, in the car, during study hall, at the lunch table, after school, before dinner, after dinner, or before bed. Sometimes we’ll be tempted to say, “I’d love to read my Bible, but I just don’t have time.” I know that excuse, because it’s an excuse I’ve used myself. Something I’ve learned, though, is that if I’m too busy for God, then I’m just too busy! Make time. This six-month New Testament plan takes only ten minutes a day to follow, and if we don’t have ten minutes a day for God, then something needs to change. Let’s look critically at our schedule and see if there’s something we can drop. Maybe we only need to work three days a week instead of five, or we could choose our favorite sport to participate in instead of continuing with several sports. Maybe we should just watch one favorite show per evening instead of several shows that are just okay. If you’re the girl who spends two hours getting ready for school every morning, look at your beauty routine, and your heart, and consider changing something in the routine to allow a few minutes for God each morning. This school year, let’s make a statement by saturating our minds and hearts with God’s word so we can let His love shine through us, allowing us to be a living Christian example to everyone around.
Although we don’t always intend to, we often have a tendency to divide ourselves into groups. In high school, these groups are known as cliques. Webster’s dictionary describes cliques as “small, exclusive circles of people.” These circles are usually formed with people we like and know well. We are comfortable with them.
High school was an endless array of who said what about who and why. And usually, what you hear in high school as far as gossip goes is either a lie or a half truth. Have any of you ever played the game where people line up and something is whispered to the first person in the line, who then passes it on, spreading it all the way down the line to the very end? What is said aloud by the last person is never the same thing that was given by the first. That is because along the way people misunderstood what was said to them, and they made up something that sounded like it might fit into the sentence.
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