Peer Pressure, Church, and Hair

Q. Dear Rachel,
How do you deal with peer pressure?
-Bekah, 15

A. There is no easy way to deal with peer pressure. With school starting, you will be constantly exposed to peer pressure. One way to deal with it is to place yourself in a crowd where negative pressure isn’t as common. If you spend more time with your Christian friends, it will be much easier to avoid the call of the world. Exposing your mind to moral speech and ideals, rather than worldly speech and ideals, will help to strengthen your Christianity. We are reminded in I Cor. 15:33, “Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” It’s much more likely for you to be corrupted if you hang out with immoral people. However, even if you hang out with Christian friends and those with positive influences, you can’t just ignore your other classmates. Fighting peer pressure is a battle of willpower. No one can make your decisions for you. If you are determined to be a faithful Christian, you must stand up to peer pressure and be willing to be different. You will be pressured to conform to the world. Teens are constantly being made to think that the only way to be accepted is to be just like everyone else. That is not true. No one can deny liking a kind, loving, friendly, patient Christian person, no matter what clique. It is true that you may not be best friends with the most popular girl in school by being a Christian, but you will be well-liked, and, more importantly, you will grow closer to Christ. It is important to keep your faith alive and strong to resist the temptation.

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”(Eph. 6:10-13, KJV)

By studying and praying daily, you will be a much stronger Christian and find it easier to refuse peer pressure, because you will know God’s word more and will be more in tune to His plans for you.

-Rachel

Q. I love your magazine!!! I have a question. We left our church and I don’t like the one we are going to right now. There are only about 5 kids; none of them are my age. And the congregation is mostly elderly people. How should I tell my mom I don’t like it? Thanks!!!
-Khylie

A. It’s very important to have people your own age at your church. In fact, we have someone who just started coming to our church for that reason. I think you should just sit down with your mom and explain to her why you’re not as happy there. Before speaking with your mom, you might want to research some other local churches. Be prepared with some suggestions of nearby scriptural churches that you want to visit. According to John 4:24 “God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth,” you can’t choose just any church; you must be sure it is scriptural before suggesting it. Doing the research in advance will help your mom to realize how important this is to you, which will make your discussion easier for both of you. Tell your mom that having people your age will help to strengthen your faith but be careful not to use that as an excuse. It can help, but our strengthening is still our responsibility, with the Holy Spirit and God. Having a solid relationship with Christian peers is helpful in being strong enough to avoid worldly pressures. You might also want to mention that an active youth group will provide an opportunity for you to become more involved with your church. Be sure to speak to your mom respectfully and calmly so that the conversation doesn’t become an argument. If you tell her these things in an adult manner, she will be more likely to listen to you and to want to help you find a church with a larger youth group. You may also want to ask your mom why you changed churches in the first place, if you don’t already know. There might be a good reason of which you are not aware. In the end, you must accept your mother’s decision, as the Bible says in Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” If she decides to stay at your current church, and wants you to stay as well, there are ways to keep a positive outlook. For example, you could invite the other five kids to an activity perfect for all ages, such as a movie, amusement park, roller blading, etc. You could get to know some of the elderly people as well. You could try talking to them after church, taking them a meal you made (see Cooking Corner), or offering to help them with something they may need help with at home (see Helping Hands). I know hanging out with old people may not seem like fun right now, but believe me, there is much more value to befriending an elderly person than you would think. You can also get together with local youth groups by hanging out with them and attending their camps and activities, which may help it to not be such a big deal to stay right where you are. I hope this helps you, Khylie!

-Rachel

Now for a question on a much lighter note…

Q. Dear Rachel,

When I pull my hair back to get it out of my face, it leaves a huge ridge after I let it down again. That’s really annoying and I’d like to know if there’s a way to avoid that.

-Anonymous

A. I know exactly what you’re talking about and it can be very annoying. There are a couple of ways to avoid that. One is to make a low braid instead of a ponytail. If you don’t leave the braid in all day, it probably won’t cause any weird waves. Another way is to use a scrunchie instead of an elastic hairband. Scrunchies may not be as fashionable, but if you’re at home or don’t care what you look like at the moment, they’re an excellent way to avoid the ridge, because they’re softer and looser. You might also want to consider using a headband to hold your hair back. You can also rid yourself of the ridge with an electric straightener.

– Rachel