The Right Guy

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I’m tired of always dating the wrong guys! What can I do to attract a guy who will actually treat me right, and like me for who I am, instead of for what I look like?

The issue is never the issue. In this case, it seems to be that good guys are not attracted to you, but the real issue is that you are not attracted to the good guys who are attracted to you. And isn’t that how relationships are––she likes him but he likes some other girl who likes another guy. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

There are plenty of options out there, and for every guy who you know is attracted to you there are at least a dozen more that never say anything. Therefore, remember that you are definitely attracting guys that will like you for who you are. The question is do you notice them?

I will be the first to admit that the male species is peculiar. But before talking about all of the nonsensical things that guys do, let’s start by asking what you could do differently. Sometimes we forget that we are not only looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, we are striving to be Mr. or Mrs. Right for someone else.

People are like display cases, and everyone who walks by is doing a little window shopping. Ask yourself what you are putting out for display. Are you setting out your long curly hair, fancy car, and shorts that are way to short, or are you displaying modesty, gentleness, compassion, hospitality, and purity? It is true that if you are not displaying the former, then you may not have as many guys who are interested, but by offering godly qualities, you will ultimately not get any returns or exchanges.

If you are like most people, you are thinking, But I want people to stop and look now, not in a few years. This is where many of us get into trouble; we lack the foresight to see a bright future and the patience to wait for it. The best thing to do is show your godly qualities, and in the meantime resist the wrong guys and have patience until you start to notice the good guys. Expect it to be difficult, maybe the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but do not be discouraged; God has given you the ability.

There are guys out there that have their heads in the clouds, and there are some who have their heads in the sand. As funny as it might sound, these are the guys that girls seem to notice initially. The first guy is mysterious and romantic; the other is like a lost puppy begging for someone to take care of him––and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to help a lost puppy? But don’t forget that there are lots of guys standing with their feet on solid ground and their eyes focused straight ahead. They may be noticing you. Those are some of the guys that will like you for you, and they are some of the guys who are focused on God first. If you are attracting guys that are not good for you and are not genuine, and you are attracted to those same guys, then you have a challenge to embrace, and it will require patience.

Have you ever wondered why patience is such a major theme in the Bible? What do we need patience for, and how do we get it? Well, it is for putting up with others and ourselves as we mature, but getting it is not as easy. We cannot do much to help others mature and that is because each person has to decide for himself/herself, but we can decide to help ourselves with God’s guidance. You may have noticed that when you pray for patience God seems to give you struggles instead. Ironically, it is overcoming the struggles that leads to patience, and it is the patience that will help you to see the plan that God has for you. Galatians 6:9 tells us to be patient while pursuing things that are righteous. When we chase after the wrong people and display anything that is not Christlike, we are not following the example that Paul wrote for the Galatians. “Do not be discouraged when resisting temptations; be optimistic for the future because when the time is right you will appreciate what God has reserved for you.” Have faith that God has reserved something wonderful for you.

– Mitch Ebie


  1. You’ve made several great points and I especially like the part about shopping. Thank you for the reminder that patience is a virtue!

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