Archives for March 2009

Yesterday we talked about the importance of dressing modestly all the time, including formal occasions. Today we’re going to give a few shopping tips and offer suggestions about where to shop.

Shopping basics

Have a set budget in mind and stick to it. Maybe you found the perfect dress for your event – but it’s $300. Put it back! Look online to see if you can find a similar style (or even the same dress!) for a lower price. Look on eBay, do a google product search for the item number – do anything but plunk down $300 for a dress you’ll only wear once (1 Timothy 2:9). You can find a dress you love for a much, much lower price. Even if your parents are paying for your dress, respect their money and the fact that they work hard for it. Take the time to find a good deal on a dress you can feel good about purchasing.

Shop the clearance racks. Many brides are choosing the color of bridesmaids’ dresses and allowing the bridesmaids to choose their own flattering style. Take advantage of this! You may be able to score a great dress at a low price by looking through the clearance racks first.

Shop consignment stores. If your formal outfit is for anything other than a bridesmaid dress, you can shop second-hand shops to find a great deal on a dress that’s only been worn once or twice.

Be careful with the accessories. Whatever you save on the dress can easily be offset in the accessories. Use a little creativity. Shops that specialize in formal wear generally charge a lot of money for their shoes, jewelry, etc. Look at Payless or a department store clearance section. Better yet, swap with a friend, or purchase neutral shoes and jewelry that you will be able to wear for your next formal occasion.

Know the return policies. If you are unsure of a dress, don’t think that you can just return it if you change your mind. Many stores don’t allow returns on formal wear. The better option would be to ask an employee to hold an item for you, and come back after you’ve looked at your other options. Especially be aware of a return policy on online dresses. Generally, even if a company allows returns, you will still have to pay shipping to return the item, and that cost can add up.

Consider re-selling. Instead of letting your used dresses hang in a closet to never be worn again, think about selling them to a consignment store, or on ebay, to make some money back before the dresses go out of style. That money can be used to help cover the cost of a new dress, it can be placed in a college fund, or donated to a worthy cause.

Where to shop

David’s Bridal has a few modest formal wear choices. Again, once you’re in the store, make sure to check the clearance racks! I once scored a bridesmaid’s dress for $60, and the only alteration it needed was a little hemming (which a local seamstress did for a fraction of the David’s Bridal cost).

Beautifully Modest is full of great formal wear dresses! Modest By Design also has a great, modest selection, and they aren’t just limited to formal wear. Their selection includes several casual dresses, some of which are perfect for church, graduation, summer group dates, or attending weddings. Both of these stores are a little pricey, so keep that in mind, and check to see if there’s a store near you that may be running a sale.

You can also do a google search for modest formal dresses, search on ebay, or check your yellow pages for local formal wear consignment shops.

Remember

Above all, we should want to glorify God with our lives (1 Peter 4:16), and that includes what we wear. More than fitting in, more than wearing the style everyone else is wearing, and more than wanting to attract attention at the events we attend, we need to remember that we are Christians first. We can look pretty without compromising our values. Most importantly, we want people to remember us by our kind words and pure heart, not by what we wore to a formal occasion. This year, dress to impress – Christ that is!

By Davonne Parks

With warm weather approaching, many of us begin to think about formal wear. Whether we’re going to graduate, be a bridesmaid, or attend a formal event, we will probably want to purchase a new dress. Some of you may be planning on attending a school formal dance, but before you decide whether or not to do so, please read our article about dances.

Later we’ll talk about shopping basics, but today we’ll cover a few things about modesty (these also apply to normal clothes, not just formal wear).

God’s take on modesty

We are instructed in 1 Timothy 2:9 to dress modestly and discreetly. We’re told in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and that we are to glorify God with our bodies.

Exodus 20:14 and Matthew 5:27 tell us that committing adultery is a sin. Lust (an intense sexual desire toward someone we’re not married to) is also sinful. We know lust is a sin because we’re told in Matthew 5:28 that “everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Since adultery is a sin, and since, in God’s eyes, lust is equivalent to committing adultery, that means lust is also a sin.

I know that lust sounds like the guys’ problem, not ours, right? Well, 1 Corinthians 8 (especially verses 9 and 12) talks about how sinful it is to be a stumbling block to others. We’re told not to do anything that can cause someone else to sin. If wearing an immodest dress causes a guy to lust over us, then, yes, he is guilty of the sin of lust, but we’re also guilty of the sin of being a stumbling block. When we dress in enticing clothes, the lusting guys aren’t the only ones sinning. We’re also sinning by not dressing modestly (1 Timothy 2:9), and by being a stumbling block to the guys around us (1 Corinthians 8:9-12).

While it can be tempting to want to be the best (or least) dressed girl at an event in order to attract attention, it’s not worth it. Care enough about the souls of the guys there, and enough about your own soul, to find a dress that doesn’t tempt them to sin because of you. If you don’t care about their souls enough, pray for your own heart, and ask God to help you start to care. If you’ve sinned in this area in the past, make the decision to stop sinning, ask God for His forgiveness, and choose to begin wearing only modest clothes, including formal wear, from now on (1 John 1:9).

Now that your heart is (hopefully) open to modesty suggestions, read on!

Modesty basics

Avoid strapless. While a strapless dress might look pretty (although generally too revealing and suggestive) in the dressing room, spending hours at an event tugging on the neckline just isn’t attractive. Not tugging at the neckline could be worse though, which brings us to our next point.

Cleavage should never show. If the dress shows any cleavage whatsoever, even just when you bend down, find a different dress. Cleavage tempts guys to lust. There are thousands of great, stylish dresses that don’t show cleavage.

Skip dresses that accentuate the bust. Even if there’s no cleavage in sight, but the dress has beading, ribbon, or anything else that outlines the bust line, skip it, because that means your chest will be the first thing guys will notice, and not in a godly way.

Wear a bra. If the dress is too low, too strapless, too backless, or too anything else to wear a bra, then it’s too revealing. Period. Guys will definitely notice the lack of a bra, and this can be even more tempting than a little bit of cleavage showing.

Don’t wear a backless dress. Having a few criss-cross straps on the back of the dress doesn’t make it modest. The dress needs to have a real, solid back. This is a problem area for guys, too, especially if it’s the lower back, and we need to help them out!

Skin tight = too tight. While formal-wear dresses can fit in a flattering way, they should not look like they’ve been painted onto our skin. Find a dress that flows nicely away from the body once it reaches the hips to allow for more modesty and comfort.

To the knee is a must; below the knee is better. Short dresses are also tempting for guys, so the shortest part of the dress needs to be knee-length or longer. If you prefer a shorter formal-wear dress, opt for one that hits right below the knee so you’ll stay covered even if you’re moving around during your event (and especially if you’re a bridesmaid on some sort of platform).

If you know it’s immodest, don’t try it on. If you see a dress on the rack that’s just way too cute, but strapless, or backless, or low cut, or too short, or too something, put it back immediately. Don’t let yourself think about how great you’d look in it! If you try the dress on, you may be even more tempted to purchase it, so don’t allow yourself to do so. Put the dress back on the rack and move on to a more modest section.

Move around in the dressing room. Bend over in front of the mirror – if cleavage or underwear shows, try on a different dress. Twist your body, raise your arms––just move! If the dress doesn’t stay in place for the five minutes you have it on in the store, it’s not going to stay in place for the entire afternoon or evening you’re wearing it.

Coming up

Tomorrow we’ll discuss shopping basics, as well as include a few links to places that sell modest formal wear. For now, print this list of modesty basics, and share it with your mom (or whoever is going to take you dress shopping) so you can decide and agree upon modesty standards before hitting the stores.

By Davonne Parks