Q. Is God listening when I pray? Does He get mad when I ask for something I don’t need? Does He have to give me what I ask for? What do I have to do to get my prayers answered?

A. I once heard prayer defined as “talking to the ceiling and wondering if anyone’s listening.” Psalm 102:16-18 and Philippians 4:6 tells us that God does listen, and that He cares for us. Jesus prayed to God constantly throughout His life on earth (Heb. 5:7; Lk. 23:34; Lk. 5:16; Lk. 6:12). Would Jesus, the Son of God, have prayed and commanded us to pray without ceasing (I Thes. 5:17) if He did not believe God hears us and answers prayer? You might think, “Well, He was divinity; God had to listen to His prayer,” but we can see many instances throughout the Bible in which God answers the prayers of ordinary people. And there was one prayer that Jesus prayed that God did not answer in the way He wanted. Although Jesus was God’s Son, He was a man on earth, and prayed that, if there was any other way, God would let ‘this cup pass’ from Him (Matthew 26:39). Jesus spent enough time with God in prayer that He was able to pray God’s will. That is when we most often see God’s answers to our prayer.

In James 5:16 we are told, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” If you still aren’t sure if God answers prayer, try starting a prayer journal. Jot down the things you talk to God about. Record when a prayer is answered. Keep in mind that sometimes God’s answer is to wait, or He gives us the more perfect answer—His will. After just a few months, look back at your journal and find out for yourself that God does answer prayer. If you record what you wish to say to God before praying, it will help you to order your thoughts and to concentrate on what you are saying more than if you were trying to think of everything off the top of your head. However, your prayer should still be from the heart. God doesn’t enjoy hearing the same habitual, meaningless words any more than we do. There’s no guarantee God will say yes when you pray. If He says no, it won’t be because you didn’t have enough faith or aren’t righteous enough. It will be because what you asked for wasn’t the best for you or for others. Like a good and wise father, God only gives what’s best for you.

By Rachel Conley

Q. “How can I know I’m making the best choice about choosing which college to attend?”
-Anonymous

A. Having just chosen a college for myself, I can sympathize with you on this topic. It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make. Which college I attend helps determine my entire future, like who my friends are, what my major is, where I live, and even who I marry. That is why it is important to carefully and prayerfully consider your options.

Some of the things I considered when choosing the college I wanted to attend were location/distance, atmosphere, size, and cost. Consider how far you want to be away from home; do you want to be able to come home on weekends or do you like being independent and only coming home on breaks? Also, what kind of atmosphere do you prefer? Would you like to go to a public school? Or would you rather attend a Christian school?

Another aspect that can affect your college choice is size. Do you feel comfortable in large groups where you can see new faces everyday and experience anonymity? Or do you like the closer environment of a smaller private school, where it seems everybody knows everybody? Of course, one of the most prominent factors that determines which college you attend is the cost. If you are offered a scholarship from a certain school, it might influence you to go there.

If you are having difficulty choosing a college, pray to God that you make the best choice. Pray for the wisdom to make the decision that will be best for you. God hears the prayers of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) and wants us to pray when we are afflicted so that He may guide us in our decision making (James 5:13). You can also seek advice from older people you trust. Ask alumni from the colleges you are considering what they thought of the school.

Also, be sure to go on college visits. These are usually well-structured tours that allow you to visit dorms and classrooms. There is no better way to decide if you feel comfortable on campus and could see yourself spending the next few years there. I hope these tips aid you in your search for your perfect school. And remember that regardless of where you choose to go, the most important thing is to glorify God.

Good luck!
Rachel Conley

Q. I would really appreciate it if there was an article about finding balance between spending time with God, your friends, your boyfriend, and school work or something of the sort. I know it’s all about prioritizing and time management, but how do you tell when you are spending too much time in one place, and not enough in another?
– Amberly

A. This is a pretty common problem for the modern woman. How are we supposed to go to school, go to practice for sports or band, attend club meetings, go to church services and other church activities, study the Bible, do homework, and still have time for family and friends?

As you already mentioned, time management is important. Prioritize according to the importance of the activity to you. Of course, God is hopefully your first priority and you should devote the most time and effort to Him. Matthew 6:33 advises, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”(NASB). If you trust God and pray to Him daily, the other things in your life should fall into place. He will strengthen you to deal with stress and manage your time well.

As far as determining whether you are spending too much time in one place, see if one of the areas in your life is suffering. For example, if your grades begin to drop, it might be time to spend less time with your friends, and hit the books. Or if you and a friend are having a hard time, set aside some time that weekend to do something you both enjoy so that you can reconnect. It can be difficult as a busy young woman to fit everything into your schedule, especially if you’re involved in a club or sport. I recommend that you buy a planner or a dry erase board calendar to keep track of everything you have going on.

Organization is a key to time management. I know it can be tough to actually put these things into practice. It takes time for them to become habits. Hopefully, with a little perseverance, you’ll soon find a balance that works for you to make your life much more stress free.

– Rachel Conley

Q. I really want to help out in my church but I don’t know how. The older women already take care of organizing most projects, like food baskets and visiting, and my youth group hardly does anything. How can I actually do something worthwhile that someone else isn’t already doing?

A. It’s great that you want to help out! Don’t be discouraged by your age; it doesn’t matter how old you are–anyone can accomplish something with a little effort. Also, remember that you don’t have to do something huge for it to be worthwhile and meaningful. A gesture as small as a card during a difficult time can mean so much to a person who really needs it.

One thing you could do is become more involved in the already existing organizations, such as the ladies’ group. You could try speaking to the ladies about including the younger women, such as yourself, in their projects and meetings. As a result, you would be more involved in with the people of your church and could participate in the already existing projects, which sound like good ones to me.

Another idea would be to organize your youth group to do more for the community. For example, you could organize a group project such as yard work for the elderly and planning youth events for area congregations. Think of some of the talents you as an individual possess. Are you artistic? You might be able to make cards for the sick or decorate the church bulletin board. Do you like to organize or lead others? Outline your ideas and get others involved in helping you to realize them. Do you enjoy cooking? Cook dinner or snacks, such as cookies or pies, for shut-ins, funerals, or church dinners, or even busy moms.

The possibilities granted us by our talents are endless–sometimes we just need to find and develop these gifts. No one lacks the skills required to become involved in something. All that is needed is the desire to aid others and a motivation to do so. The Holy Spirit gives us all the help we need. We must all remember the second greatest commandment given in Matthew 22:35-40: “‘And the second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”’ (NKJV). No matter your age or talents, there is always a way you can help others.

By Rachel Conley

Dear Rachel,
How do you know that God is real?
– Stephanie

Stephanie,
Great question! In our own quest to prove the existence of God, a friend and I recently researched this topic together, and here’s what we found.

I. Scientific Evidence

A.Archaeological Evidence

1.Dead Sea Scrolls
The Dead Sea Scrolls consist of roughly 1,000 documents, including texts from the Hebrew Bible, discovered between 1947 and 1979 in eleven caves in and around the Wadi Qumran on the northwest shore of the Dead Sea. The texts are of great religious and historical significance, as they include practically the only known surviving copies of Biblical documents made before 100 AD. Amazingly, they matched exactly with the Bible we have today (Mk. 13:31).

2.Walls of Jericho (Joshua 6:1-20)
It was found with the walls having fallen outward, a feat that architects had previously thought impossible.

3.The Hittites were once thought to be a Biblical legend, until their capital and records were discovered in Bogazkoy, Turkey.

4.It was once claimed there was no Assyrian king named Sargon as recorded in Isaiah 20:1, because this name was not known in any other record. Then, Sargon’s palace was discovered in Khorsabad, Iraq. The very event mentioned in Isaiah 20, his capture of Ashdod, was recorded on the palace walls. What is more, fragments of a stela memorializing the victory were found at Ashdod itself.

B. Natural Evidence

1. Nature
William Paley, a theologian of the 18th century, became well known for his argument concerning the existence of God based on nature.

The works of nature want only to be contemplated. When contemplated, they have everything within them, which can astonish by their greatness; for, of the vast scale of operation, through which our discoveries carry us, we see an intelligent Power. Every organized natural body, in the provisions which it contains for its sustentation and propagations, testifies a care on the part of the Creator. We are on all sides surrounded by such bodies; examined in their parts, wonderfully curious; compared with one another, no less wonderfully diversified. There is no subject of which, in its full extent, the latitude is so great, as that of natural history applied to the proof of an intelligent Creator (Natural Theology).

God has revealed Himself in nature––a fact that the Bible also supports. In Romans 1:20, Paul writes to acknowledge the evidence of God in nature.

“Since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse” Romans 1:20.

2. The Big Bang Theory
A well-known scientific law is that from nothing, can come nothing. It’s a law, not a theory, which means that it has been proven. The Big Bang theory transgresses their laws. It has never been proven and probably has more evidence against it than for it.

C. Our Bodies

1.Our bodies are too amazing and complex to have happened by chance. Brad Harrub, a neurobiologist, said:

You can’t have a poem without a poet, or a house without a house builder. You can’t have design without an intelligent Designer. The complexity within a cell, the complexity of Earth’s atmospheric conditions, the distances between the planets, everything was put here for a purpose. If we look at the human nervous system, for example, we see that it is composed of billions of cells, and that it was purposely arranged to be able to conduct a nerve signal from one part of the body to the other. On a microscopic level, we see that a single cell has ion-gated channels, voltage-gated channels, and a membrane potential. It was specifically designed to do one thing, carry a nerve impulse from one cell to another. When you look deep inside the cell, you find the DNA, the biological code of life that allows the cell to perpetuate itself. Within the cell, you have an incredibly complex biochemical code, and yet we are expected to believe that it “just happened by chance”? Over and over again, as you look throughout nature, you see what is almost like a “neon arrow” pointing to a Creator, an intelligent Designer. That designer is God.

II. Biblical Evidence

A.The Earth is spherical and hangs on nothing. The Bible recorded these facts long before men commonly regarded them as facts (Job 26:7; Is. 40:22).

B.The Bible also records paths of the water, meaning currents. Matthew Maury (1806-1973) is considered the father of oceanography. He was bed-ridden during a serious illness and asked his son to read a portion of the Bible to him. While listening, he noticed the expression “paths of the sea” in Psalms 8:8. Upon his recovery, Maury took God at His word and went looking for these paths. We are indebted to his discovery of the warm and cold continental currents.

C.The Bible also reveals the water cycle. The water cycle was not fully understood until about 30 BC by a Roman engineer named Marcus Vitruvius. Yet every aspect of the water cycle was fully revealed in the Old Testament. The Bible’s description is in perfect harmony with modern science (Ecc. 1:6-7; 11:3; Job 26:8; Amos 9:6).

“He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight” (Job 26:8, NIV).

“He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind” (Job 36:27–28, NIV).

“The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again” (Ecclesiastes 1:6–7, NIV).

III. God Is Creator

A.We have an intelligent Creator and He is God! (Acts 17:22–26; Gen 1:1)

B.“He is One Who cares for us. He provides for us. He provides for our needs, both physically and spiritually. He sends the rain on the just and the unjust. He sent His Son to die for all who were unjust, that we might become His children. Having the ability to go to live with Him forever in His house is beyond our ability to comprehend. The term ‘Father’ conjures up in our minds the idea of a loving family.” -B.J. Clarke, Minister

IV. Conclusion

A.There are many more examples, both scientific and biblical, that we did not mention.

B.Through scientific, natural, and biblical evidence, God is screaming that He exists. But what does that evidence say about Him? It says that He is an intelligent Designer who is capable of creating and sustaining the universe. It tells us that He is a Creator of amazing organisms and intricate systems. It tells us that He is much greater, and more powerful, than any force we could ever imagine.

Visit ChristianAnswers.net for more archaeological information.
Visit Bible.ca for more scientific information.

Stephanie, we hope this helps you believe He Is, so you can begin or strengthen your relationship with Him.

By: Rachel Conley and Rebekah Davis

I started attending church a few months ago and want to become a Christian. But I’m afraid that God won’t accept me. I’ve done some really bad stuff, not just the usual things. My Christian friends tell me He will accept anybody but I’m not sure about me. Also, what if I can’t live up to His expectations for me? I don’t think I’d make a very good Christian. Do you know if he would accept me and what would happen if I do mess up?

First, I would like to congratulate you on your willingness to accept Christ’s invitation to obey and follow Him. As for your previous sins, do not worry about them. It’s important for you to know, and for all of us to remember, that God does not judge sin the way we do. We often categorize sins into “bad” ones and “not so bad” ones, but in God’s eyes, all sin is the same—it’s sin. It’s disobedience to Him. When Jesus died and was raised again, He did it for everyone’s sin, not just the “not so bad” ones. Otherwise, there would be no reason for Him to have come to earth and die. Jesus died so that all should come to repentance, no matter the sin (Col. 1:14, 2 Pet 3:9). The magnitude of your sin does not matter if you truly repent. According to Luke 15:7, “I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance” (NKJV). Romans 6:4 tells us that, “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life” (NKJV). This newness is due to the Holy Spirit Who lives in us after our repentance of our old self and our sin (Acts 2:38).

Everyone sins after becoming a Christian; it’s inevitable because we are human. When Jesus died, it was for the forgiveness of all sin for all time. God has promised to forgive those who come to Him with a repentant heart. If we are trying to not sin based on our own strength, then we will always fail. We need to accept His gift for salvation, strive to think on pure things (Phil 4:8), refrain from placing ourselves in tempting situations, and be prayerful that God will help us in the midst of temptation.

We cannot know God unless we know His word, so we should study and pray diligently (2 Tim. 2:25; I Thess. 5:17). Surround yourself with Christians who will encourage your walk with God and help to minimize temptation. You will find surprising strength in godly, Christian friends. No one is unworthy of God’s love. Remember this month’s key scripture, “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.” We are all made in His image (Gen 1:27) and are applicable for His grace.

– Rachel Conley

If you have a question you’d like Rachel’s advice about, please let us know!

“I have a question about alcohol. My dad drinks all the time. He sometimes comes home drunk. Other times he invites friends over, sits in the game room, and comes out drunk. He always has a bad attitude. So what can a 12-year-old do about that?”

A. Having never been in this situation myself, I was a little unsure of the advice to give you. So, I asked some others who are more familiar with this for their suggestions – one is a minister and counselor, and the other is also a counselor. My response is a mixture of their advice and my advice.

Both of them agree that you should avoid him when he’s drunk and in a bad mood. I don’t know your father, and he might never do this, but there is a much greater chance of him becoming angry and abusing you when he’s drunk.

Go to your room to read or listen to music, or call a friend to see if you can spend the night. If you feel threatened by him, call an adult you trust or, if he seems out of control, call the police. According to the counselor, “It’s important to remember that your job is to take care of yourself. You can start by finding an adult that you trust. There may be a school counselor, a person at your church or in the neighborhood who you know would always be glad to listen to you and to help you. Having someone near you who you trust is very important.” Don’t be too afraid to report him if he threatens you. Remember, it is not your job to protect him. Sadly, he’s forgotten that it’s his job to protect you.

One of the most helpful things you can do is pray for your father daily. Pray that he will overcome his disease and that he will see how it’s destroying his life and family relationships. Another action you can take was suggested by the minister. He said that when he is sober – and the time seems right – you could say, “Dad, please don’t drink. It scares me to be around you. Ask someone to help you quit if you can’t stop.” Knowing that you care and are being hurt by him might be the initiative he needs to quit.

The most important thing to remember is not to let his alcoholism influence you to drink. Take his example as an incentive to avoid alcohol in the future – you’ve witnessed the negative effects it bears. The female counselor wished to remind you, “The rest of the time you should be asking yourself each day ‘What kind of person do I want to be?’ This is the time of your life when you can be focused on good grades, an activity that is special to you (sports, music,etc.), and good friends who also want to have meaningful lives. It’s the time of your life to remember that being sober means you get to make all the choices for your life . . . that drugs or alcohol are not making choices for you.”

Remember that Christians are to partake only in things that are good. Romans 14:19 reads, “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” We hope that our suggestions will help you with your struggle.

– Rachel Conley

If you have a question you’d like Rachel’s advice about, please let us know!

Q. I was baptized about three years ago but I fell away the past year and have had a hard time remaining faithful. My New Year’s resolution is to give up worldly things and live a better Christian life. Do you have any helpful suggestions?
-Anonymous

A. My July 2008 article addresses working on a closer relationship with God and finding time to study the Bible. Regular Bible study is a great way to strengthen your faith. You cannot know God unless you know His word. Reread the story of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection – this should give purpose to your effort as it reminds you of His sacrifice and will for our lives. Think about how much he was willing to give, and compare it to how much you are willing to give. Remember, Christ gave all that we might live (Gal 1:4; John 3:16; I Tim 2:6; Titus 2:14).

Attending church and following his commandments seem infinitesimal when weighed against death and torture. And He not only wants us to obey Him in order to avoid eternal condemnation, but also to have a full life in Him, to glorify Him, and to lead others to Him. One of my favorite verses that inspires me to live for Jesus is Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Besides regular Bible study, I have found that spending time in intense, thoughtful prayer and meditation also helps you to put things in perspective and prioritize. During this time, you might wish to consider the negative consequences of how you have been living and the benefits of returning to God. Pray for God to help you resist sin and continue to increase your desire to obey and follow Him.

Above all, you must have a sorrowful heart. Repenting of your sins is necessary in receiving God’s forgiveness. Luke 13:3 says, “I tell you no, unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” We are all human and will therefore always have a fleshly desire to sin. But, if we are in Christ, we should have a new desire to live for Him and do what’s right. However, repenting doesn’t only involve being sorry for what you did. We should also confess our sins to someone who will lovingly hold us accountable for our actions. Satan has a harder time keeping us under his control when we’re not trying to hide our sins.

You must also turn away from sin. My dad often describes it as making a U-turn. If you say you’re sorry – and you may really be sorry – but you wake up the next day and continue what you were doing, your heart has not been changed. If peer pressure affects your effort, you may need to avoid being with those negative influences and become more involved in your church youth and ladies’ groups. Do not assume you can resist negative influence from others on your own. There is always the possibility that you will become more familiar with their habits and fall back into it, no matter how strong you are. That’s why it’s important to ask for God’s help. Good luck with your effort and I hope you will fully return to your life in Christ.

– Rachel Conley

If you have a question you’d like Rachel’s advice about, please let us know!

Q. In the September issue, I keep reading about Bible study versus Bible reading. What’s the difference, and how can I go from reading my Bible to actually studying my Bible each day?
-Mandy

A. Bible reading and Bible studying are very similar terms. Some people may use them interchangeably. However, there is a difference.

Bible reading involves reading a couple of chapters or more each day. When you read your Bible, you usually read to refresh your memory, to find comfort, or as an effort to think on good things, as we are commanded in Philippians 4:8. In contrast, during a Bible study, you may spend an hour on just a couple of verses. The goal during study is to gain comprehension, not merely to refresh your memory. If you feel that you don’t understand a certain subject, you may choose to study it.

Usually, when reading your Bible, you read several verses or chapters in order. When you study, you read verses that correspond to the subject that you are studying. For example, if studying baptism, you might read from Mark 16:16, Acts 2:38, or I Peter 3:21, instead of reading entirely from the same book and chapter. Studying may also involve memorizing verses and understanding concepts so that you can answer any questions that might arise from your friends and others (2 Tim. 2:15; I Peter 3:15).

It’s important to read your Bible daily, but if you have more time or are having difficulty understanding something, you should try to study. Bible reading may turn into study if you come across something you don’t understand, which happened to the eunuch in Acts 8. If you aren’t sure how to study, you could choose a topic and read about it from an appropriate commentary and look up the verses given so that you can better understand the topic.

Also, most Bibles have study aids in the back, and there are concordances that will help you find verses on most any subject. If you can’t think of a subject to study, just start reading your Bible and if you read something you don’t understand, study it. It’s okay to just read your Bible as long as you also spend some time studying what you read.

– Rachel Conley

Q. “I have a friend that constantly talks about people behind their backs. However, when that friend comes around, she is ‘best friends’ with them. I struggle to watch this situation go on and on. It doesn’t seem right how one person can be so nice toward someone else and then be so mean when they turn their backs. It’s frustrating and annoying. How do I deal with people like this?”

-Erin

A. Unfortunately, this is a pretty common problem among teenage girls. I have had similar experiences with my friends. It can be very annoying. You don’t want to offend the person because she’s still your friend, but you can’t just sit and watch her do this while the other person remains oblivious to it. What is even more frustrating is that you know that the Bible condemns this action as hypocrisy. While I don’t have a “magical” solution, I do have some suggestions.

If you don’t want to anger your friend by pointing out her hypocrisy, you could just say something nice to defend the other person and let your friend know you disapprove. For example, if she begins to talk about this person, you might say something like, “Really? She’s always been nice to me” or “I always thought you guys were like best friends.” You could also let her know that you don’t feel comfortable or right talking negatively about other people. Hopefully, she’ll take the hint and stop talking about her, at least around you. You might encourage your other friends to do the same when they’re around her so that she might stop doing it altogether.

If you can find the courage, you should try talking to your friend about the problem. It’s important to be polite and kind while doing so. It’s hard to have a reasonable conversation with someone if she’s angry or hurt. If she’s a fellow Christian, you could remind her that hypocrisy is condemned in the Bible (Luke 11:44; Matt. 6:1-6; 23:13-15). You are not helping her to grow by ignoring her sin. If she’s not a Christian, you can let her know that this offends you. You might say that it makes you wonder if she talks about you this way and that it’s not something a good friend would do.

I don’t think that you should tell the person she’s talking about that she’s doing this. It would only create more drama. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should to lie to her, either (Colossians 3:8-10).

Remember to be nice when talking to your friend about it. If she doesn’t listen to you and you don’t think you can be around her anymore without getting upset, it might be best to end the friendship. Spend your time around people who can help you grow in Christ and who lift up others.

– Rachel Conley