Shortly after I was married, several important people in my life divorced, including my parents. These divorces completely shattered my faith in marriage. I started to think that couples could never love each other forever and that anyone who stays married their entire life only puts on a happy front. I felt insecure in my own marriage, thinking that it was only a matter of time before my husband and I became dissatisfied with one another.
I began spending more time at my grandparents’ house, clinging to one of the only things that had been the same since my childhood. The time I spent there gave me hope again. My grandparents are not only still married after 60 years, but they are obviously still in love!
When my grandpa had knee surgery, my grandma took care of him around the clock. After my grandma had her stroke, my grandpa, still recovering from his own surgery, got rides from family members to the hospital and sat in a chair by her bedside until she made him go home to get some rest. One day while Grandpa and I were both visiting her, I was deep in thought, worrying about my grandma. I glanced over to her hospital bed and saw her and my grandpa holding hands, both with peacefully contented looks on their faces. At that moment, I realized love really can last forever. My grandparents are proof.
My grandparents have taught me, through example, how to hope, love, and most importantly, fully trust God with my life, future, and marriage. Thank you, God, for choosing Gaylord and Mary Gardner to be my grandparents.
By Davonne Parks
This article first appeared in the September/ October 2008 issue of Christian Woman magazine. To request an issue, or to subscribe to the magazine, go here.
What does the Bible say about soul mates? Let’s look it up. Open your Bible and look in the concordance in the back of the Bible for “soul mate.” Now turn to…wait, what, you can’t find it? You won’t. There is no term “soul mate” in the Bible.
If the idea of soul mates isn’t a Biblical concept, then what does the Bible say about love? First Corinthians 13:4-8a is one of the most well known sections about love in the Bible. “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” Read that again. Does any of it sound like, “Love is looking for the one person to complete you so you will have a perfect life” or “Love is when your Prince Charming comes and sweeps you off your feet with a bouquet of your favorite flowers”? Those things don’t sound like the Biblical description of love to me!
But there’s someone who’s perfect for me, right? Someone who completes me? Absolutely. Read Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” God gives us peace, and He alone can fill the void in our hearts. If we rely on a person to do that, we will always be disappointed. We need to become a complete person ourselves, and have God as the center of our lives before we can ever be completely happy with someone else. I repeat: relying on another person for our complete happiness will only end in disappointment. Only God, through Christ, can complete us.
Does this mean that it doesn’t matter who I marry since there’s no such thing as a soul mate? Absolutely not. I was once told to marry someone with whom I could do more for Christ together than either of us could do alone. That is the biggest thing I looked for in a potential spouse! We need to choose to marry someone who we will be able to help and respect, and who will love us. We should choose to marry someone with whom we can work to accomplish worthwhile goals, and who we can also have fun with. I suggest writing a list of what’s important to you. Your list may be completely different from everyone else’s list, and that’s okay. The first and most important item on your list should be that he’s a genuine, faithful Christian, but other than that, the list is up to you!
As teenage girls, we have a lot going on within ourselves. With hormones and physical changes, plus juggling school and homework, it can all be a bit overwhelming. But let me assure you, ladies, any guy worth having is not going to be flattered by you fighting over him. He may be flattered that you like him, but physically or verbally fighting with someone you are suppose to be friends with is only going to make him question your character. I have to say, I don’t recall ever fighting with my friend over a boy. Now, we argued over whether or not the guy was right for us, but never about which one of us liked him first, or about whether we were taking the other friend’s “man.”
Many times fights are escalated because instead of talking to the person involved, we talk to other people about the issue.
All the way up until the wedding day couples are essentially negotiating a contract that determines their role in the relationship. But it is not like bargaining in a street market where you are trying to get as much as you can for as little as possible. You are negotiating for mutual respect and equality. Unfortunately, when it is treated like bargaining, the focus is often who “wears the pants,” who spends their time in the kitchen, who has the final say, who gives in, and how far you will go physically. There is still negotiation once you are married, of course, but the wedding is the time that the contract is signed, literally. So, make sure to read the fine print while you are dating.
There is an order to a godly relationship, and the physical aspect is way down on the divine list; however, it is at the top of the human list. I have read Song of Solomon, and I know that it is sensual, but I have also noticed that it takes up only a few pages in the Bible. God intended for sex to be a good thing shared between a man and a woman after marriage. It was never intended to be an addiction that we cannot live without. Once it becomes a major focus of a relationship there will be problems. If you are not married and your relationship has gotten physical, it is nearly impossible to put it in reverse without making some major changes and decisions. These changes are not made with your boyfriend; they are changes that you make on your own. If you were not reading between the lines, I am suggesting that you break up with your boyfriend. This does not mean that you cannot be in a relationship later, but it does mean that you need to shake him up and let him know that you are putting your foot down and your morals first. By doing this you are looking out for him, but you are primarily looking out for yourself. Proverbs 4:23 says “above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Remember that the heart has an amazing ability to heal and God can restore anything, but there is no sense in putting it to the test. So, guard your heart now while you are young and deciding what you like, and later when you have made a commitment through marriage it will be an amazing gift.
The number of people taken in by atheism and false teaching is increasing exponentially, making this a very popular question among teens. We love our friends, and so, naturally, we are concerned for their spiritual well-being. One of the hardest things we must do in our Christian lives is find the courage to talk to a friend about Christ. What if they don’t listen? What if they get annoyed and don’t want to be our friend anymore? However, even more frightening than these thoughts is the possibility that your friend might be going to hell. Any time I think of my non-Christian friends, I am saddened to think that they won’t be spending eternity joyfully praising God in heaven, but instead will be suffering through everlasting torment. It is also important to remember that we will one day have to give an answer to God about why we never tried to teach them. “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). There is no reasonable excuse for not sharing the gospel with our friends.
It’s difficult to determine where to begin when you are ready to speak to your friend. It may be best to begin in the gospel, with Jesus’ death on the cross, and His resurrection. Explain that we are sinners in need of salvation. Once they understand its importance, you might then want to explain the 








I know many have already returned to school. If there is one thing that I remember it’s all of the homework and study assignments the teachers assigned. The harder we work, the better our grades will be.
While reading isn’t the same thing as studying, it is a good place to start. There are several things that you can do. Read or listen to the Bible while you exercise. Most treadmills, stationary bikes, and elliptical machines have a place for you to set a book while you exercise–– take your Bible. Or take your CD player outside with you and listen to the Bible on CD. I often listen to it while driving. You can also bring a Bible with you wherever you go, in your purse or backpack, to read when you are waiting for an appointment or for a friend to meet you.
I suggest breakfast as a good time to sit down and work on memorizing verses or passages in the Bible because breakfast is an important meal and this will encourage you to sit down and eat it. Research has shown that people who eat breakfast, on average, weigh less than those who don’t. By skipping breakfast, your metabolic rate slows down and your blood sugar drops. As a result, you become hungry and have less energy. This sets you up to impulsively snack in the morning––often on high-fat sweets––or to eat extra servings or bigger portions at lunch or dinner.
Now that school is back and we’re back into the routines that we love, many of you are probably thinking of two things: homework and tests. You’re not the only one, believe me. However, we have to remember to encourage others, as well as ourselves, every chance we get! This month’s idea is to find someone in your congregation who has trouble seeing and help them read (or read to them if their eyesight is too bad) their favorite passage or Bible verses. In this project, you will not only be improving their minds, you would be improving your knowledge of the Bible as well.
I learned a lot from Clyde just from him allowing me to read to him. I learned about his passion for God and God’s word, what a faithful Christian he is, and that he’s a wonderful influence for me on how to stay faithful and how to motivate myself to learn more about God’s word. I don’t think that many of the teenage ladies understand just how much knowledge the older members of the church have, both in regard to the Christian life and life in general. We must always be willing to spread God’s word––not just once in a while. We should always be striving to get His word out to non-Christians. We will be mocked and our feelings will get hurt, but we will be leaving a wonderful legacy and our words could influence someone to search the scriptures and learn God’s word. And through all the mocking, the tears, and the anger, if we help influence someone we love to become a Christian and want to live faithfully for God, then it’s all worth it.
There are four gospels – Matthew, Mark, Luke, John – which give us four unique accounts of the life, teaching, deeds, and demands of Jesus.
Luke’s audience
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