That I may tell of all thy wonderous works
The random winner of the book GIFTS is Sarah (sabeckstrom@)! You should have an e-mail from Pierce My Heart in your inbox. If not, please contact us within seven days to claim your prize.
Thanks to everyone who participated in this contest by leaving comments on our article. If you didn’t win this month, please try again in July, because we have another fun giveaway coming up.
Congratulations, Sarah! We hope this book will help you or someone you know in your Christian walk.
– Davonne Parks
This true story was submitted to us anonymously, and will appear in several parts throughout the summer, in our Heart to Heart column.
Think about the choices you make now because one night of sinful indiscretion can change the course you will take and may alter your life forever.
I didn’t give myself a chance for my life to start, or to really know what I wanted in a career or in life, before it was altered after getting pregnant by my boyfriend when I was in high school. We ended up getting married––a marriage that should never have taken place, but one that lasted over twenty years and ended in divorce.
I loved children and homemaking, so I had additional children and stayed at home to raise them, which I never regretted doing. In fact, I don’t regret my life and I like who I am, even with the battle scars of life that I carry. I have overcome trials and have become a much stronger, godlier woman.
I was young, shy, naïve, and very innocent until I met this boy, “Frank,” in my early years of high school. Even as a young girl, I was very knowledgeable about the Bible and I was raised in a Christian family. I was by every definition a “good girl.” When I met Frank, he was very charming, but not at all the type of boy I was used to. My dad was always a very gentle and calm man. Frank was just the opposite. He was loud, he cussed, was dominating and very forceful.
Why the connection was made, I’ll never know. I think that I had a low self-esteem for some reason. He was so dominant that he overpowered me. Quite honestly, I let it happen because I didn’t know how to stand up to him. I didn’t like the way he always yelled at people and got into physical fights, lied, and flirted with other girls, and he was really stuck on himself. He didn’t act the way the Christian boys did at church, but somehow I was drawn in.
He asked me to “go with him.” I wasn’t even allowed to date until I was 16, and at that time I was only 14 years old. I was just so happy that a boy was paying attention to me, so I said yes. It wasn’t long before all the kissing and petting started. Later on, we had sex on a fairly regular basis.
There were many times that I didn’t want to do those things––I was a “good girl” after all. Frank was persistent, testing my “love” if I didn’t participate. After a while I wanted sex just as much as he did. That’s the problem with sin. At first you feel so guilty, but each time you give in to sin, it gets easier and easier. I mistook sex for love. I figured that since we were having sex, then that meant he loved me.
I still battled within myself about having premarital sex. I knew God wouldn’t be proud of me, but somehow Frank would make me feel it was okay because we would be married someday––his idea, not mine. Deep within me, I never felt that we would be married; he just wasn’t the type of boy I liked. He would misquote scripture and twist it to justify having sex with me. I went along with it, and even tried to convince myself that he was right, even while I knew deep down that he was wrong.
During this time, Frank came to my church on his own. A few months later, he was baptized. The boys from church would invite him to their homes, and afterward, Frank would tell me that those Christian boys were just like all other boys and that they were disgusting. It was Frank’s way of manipulating my mind against all Christian boys, because at one time I had told Frank that I wasn’t ever going to marry him, but that I would be marrying a Christian boy someday. In his mind, he had to turn me against them. Frank told me that he was the only person that I could trust. He really knew how to work me, that’s for sure, so I believed anything and everything he told me.
Since I was disillusioned about the boys from church, I let myself believe that Frank and I would be married someday. Then I felt justified in having sex with him. I would hear rumors about Frank having sex with other girls or of him kissing them. Some of the girls would act “all knowing” when they were around him. I sensed that there were secrets between them. When I would confront Frank about the rumors, he would say, “Oh people are just jealous of us and they are trying to break us up”! I always felt guilty for doubting him.
My parents didn’t think he was a boy I should be hanging out with, so they forbade me to date him. Over the course of three years in high school, we snuck around to see each other. I know my parents did what they thought was best for me, and even though it doesn’t excuse my behavior, I wish they would have let me date him, because then I wouldn’t have tried to prove to them what a “great” guy he was. I think I could have been honest with myself about him. Instead, I was continually trying to make him look good, and as a consequence, I didn’t deal with reality. Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t blame my parents. They just did what they felt was the right thing to do. I just wasn’t assertive enough to end my relationship with Frank for good.
Check back next month to read part two.
– Anonymous
Q. I would really appreciate it if there was an article about finding balance between spending time with God, your friends, your boyfriend, and school work or something of the sort. I know it’s all about prioritizing and time management, but how do you tell when you are spending too much time in one place, and not enough in another?
– Amberly
A. This is a pretty common problem for the modern woman. How are we supposed to go to school, go to practice for sports or band, attend club meetings, go to church services and other church activities, study the Bible, do homework, and still have time for family and friends?
As you already mentioned, time management is important. Prioritize according to the importance of the activity to you. Of course, God is hopefully your first priority and you should devote the most time and effort to Him. Matthew 6:33 advises, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”(NASB). If you trust God and pray to Him daily, the other things in your life should fall into place. He will strengthen you to deal with stress and manage your time well.
As far as determining whether you are spending too much time in one place, see if one of the areas in your life is suffering. For example, if your grades begin to drop, it might be time to spend less time with your friends, and hit the books. Or if you and a friend are having a hard time, set aside some time that weekend to do something you both enjoy so that you can reconnect. It can be difficult as a busy young woman to fit everything into your schedule, especially if you’re involved in a club or sport. I recommend that you buy a planner or a dry erase board calendar to keep track of everything you have going on.
Organization is a key to time management. I know it can be tough to actually put these things into practice. It takes time for them to become habits. Hopefully, with a little perseverance, you’ll soon find a balance that works for you to make your life much more stress free.
– Rachel Conley
“From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:16
Summer’s here and that means two probable things––you’re out of school, and it’s VBS time! These things offer the perfect opportunity to help out in your church body. It’s important, as mentioned in the verse above, that each part of the body does its work, so that the entire body can function. That includes you!
Vacation Bible School
If your church is participating in a Vacation Bible School program, there are many things you can do to be involved and help out. Most likely, there will be a volunteer sign-up or an announcement asking for helpers and teachers. This is your chance to speak up. VBS offers many different areas for any gifting you may have. If you love to teach, volunteer to teach a class, or team-teach with someone else. Teachers are often needed, or at least volunteer to be a helper in one of the classes.
If teachers and assistants aren’t needed, there are plenty other things you can do to help out with VBS. Offer to make or bring refreshments. Cookies, brownies, and Rice Krispie treats are always a big hit––and easy to make. Provide some drinks for snack time, and then volunteer to stay at the table to pour and serve.
Vacation Bible School often means several other activities also, so discuss your ideas with the person heading up your VBS this summer. Love crafts? Organize a special craft project to go with the theme of VBS. Enjoy acting? Do a Bible character puppet show or skit with some friends for the younger children. If your VBS ends the week with a fun night, you could volunteer to organize several games for the kids, or to set up a face painting table if you’re artistic. Whatever God has gifted you with, use it!
Finally, if all else is taken care of, volunteer to do what everyone else will certainly want to avoid––cleanup. Sometimes these forgotten, mundane tasks are the ones that leave the biggest impressions on others. Offer to clean up after VBS is over. Gather trash, clean up the kitchen, vacuum crumbs and glitter. Even if no one else gives you credit, remember that you are doing it to glorify God (1 Peter 2:12) and ultimately, that’s all that matters.
Bible Class
No VBS? Ask some of the teachers if you could help them with Bible school classes. They may enjoy a break for the summer while you take over the class. Or they may appreciate something as simple as you helping them to prepare Bible memory games or crafts that go with the lesson each week.
It’s important that we don’t just sit back and wait for others to volunteer for things that need to be done in the body, or wait for someone to approach us for help. We need to take notice and offer to do the things which we are able to do, so that we can help the church grow by using the talents with which God has gifted us.
In addition to helping, also start noticing when others in the body are doing body-work, and acknowledge it. Let them know how much you appreciate that they took the initiative to get things done. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
By Lisa Grimenstein
Since we’re talking about careers this month, I thought it’d be appropriate to mention a girl who wrote an entire book when she was sixteen! Whether or not this girl decides to pursue writing throughout her adult life, she still used her talents to glorify God at a young age (1 Timothy 4:12).
GIFTS, written by Hannah Colley, is short for Girls in Fellowship and Team Study and covers many areas of Christianity. Her book is specifically geared toward teen girls, and has thirteen chapters with questions and project suggestions at the end of each chapter, so it can be used for individual learning, or for group study in a quarter-long Bible class.
Chapters include
1) What’s Love Got To Do With It?
2) No Turning Back
3) Unwrap the Present!
4) Who’s In Charge?!
5) Sticks and Stones
6) Fashion Tips 101: What NOT to Wear
7) The Right Moves
8 ) Life Savings
9) Hello?! It’s Just Entertainment
10) The Real High
11) Morality or Politics?
12) Here and Now
13) The Gift Exchange
These chapters cover everything from abortion and homosexuality to prayer and school dances. The topics are presented in a no-nonsense, easy-to-read format, and Colley’s beliefs are backed up with scriptural support.
Where to buy
This is one book you won’t find on Amazon or in most book stores––to purchase GIFTS, visit the Colley family’s website, and scroll down on the page until you get to Hannah’s book.
Giveaway
Colley Books is generously giving away one copy of GIFTS to a reader! All you have to do is leave a comment below by Monday, June 29, 2009, letting us know your favorite Christian book (aside from the Bible!), or a book or movie you’d like to see reviewed, and you’ll be entered in our drawing.
Comments are moderated, so they may take a day or so to appear. Make sure to include a valid e-mail address in your information (this will not appear in the post). The winner will be announced on June 30 and will be e-mailed with simple instructions on how to claim this prize. The winner must contact us back within seven days of our initial contact, or the book will go to someone else.
What really matters
If you want to strengthen your faith, learn more about God’s Word regarding today’s issues, or need to teach (or recommend topics for) a teen girls’ Bible class, this book will be a great tool to use. As Hannah says in her preface, “In 100 years, it won’t matter if I bought my clothes from American Eagle. It won’t matter if I was popular in high school. It won’t matter if I saw all the latest movies. The only thing that will matter is that I was a faithful Christian. True success is simply living my life and going to heaven.”
By Davonne Parks
Visit our Monthly Issues page to view all of our past themes, and visit our June 2009 page to read our entire current issue about choosing a career.
Feeling stressed out seems inevitable at times. There are so many factors in any one person’s life that what stresses one person out, may not stress another. And since this month’s focus is on careers, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about stress. For most, the two seem to go hand in hand.
My personal experience with workplace stress is not much different from others. As many of you know from my other columns, I held steady employment from the time I was 16. After my husband and I had been married for six months, I took what was supposed to be a temporary job at a busy physician’s office. I was so excited. I looked forward to getting out of the house again and making my own money. At first, everything went smoothly. The first two weeks everyone was nice and I really enjoyed what I did. But the more things settled in, the more stress I had.
I always kept my chin up and just did the best I could with the situation I had been given. But many nights when I got home my husband seemed to receive the brunt of my aggravation and stress. I was grumpy and tired. And to add to the stress, three months after I took the job, I became pregnant with a difficult pregnancy. There were moments when my husband and I talked about me quitting my job. But I am not a quitter, and with a baby on the way, the money was needed. So, I decided it was time to disconnect myself from stress.
The best stress reliever I got was one day as I was leaving the office. It had been the most stressful day yet. I sat in my car crying after work and realized that perhaps this situation needed more than me or an office manager or a doctor. I prayed. If God wanted me to keep this job, then I needed to turn to Him to help me through it. After my prayer, I turned the music on, rolled the windows down, and drove.
That time every day allowed me to disconnect myself from my stress at work and the stress of my personal life. Even though it was only 30 minutes, there were days where I craved those 30 minutes of solace. The job was still stressful, but I know God put me there for a reason.
There are many things we can do to “disconnect” from stress no matter what the stress is.
Stress can come in many different shapes or forms. Some of us get stressed out over big issues and others allow small things to stress them out. We also need to remember that, often, when we’re stressed, it’s because we’re not fully casting our cares on God, and not trusting Him to take care of us during our difficult times (Matthew 6:25-34). No matter what size our stress comes in, it is never too big or too small to ask God to help us. He may not always lead us to the answer we wanted, but He knows what is best.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
By Sarah Ancheta
Having explained to our friends God’s plan of salvation, soon the subject of “the church” will, and should, come up. We need to be able to explain to our friends the uniqueness of Christ’s church; His plea and purpose.
The question will often be asked, “Where do you go to church?” (or some similar question about church membership), and then, very often, remarks will follow such as, “Well, it really doesn’t matter what church you go to…no church saves you…one church is as good as another…just join the church of your choice….” These sentiments, and others like them, are popular and commonly repeated, but they reveal a lack of understanding regarding what the Bible teaches about the church. Many, though very sincere, simply do not know what the New Testament teaches about the Lord’s body, which is the Lord’s church.
What is “the church”?
Let us first begin with defining what the church is. Many think of “building” when they think of “church.” But that is not what the New Testament means. Help your friends see that the “church” in the Bible (from the original word ekklesia) means the “called out body”; the word means “saved people.” The church is not a physical building, but the saved people of God – those who spiritually belong to God the Father through His Son Jesus Christ.
Who built the church?
Let us stress that the builder of the New Testament church is Jesus Christ Himself! He is the one who promised to build the church (Matthew 16:18). He is the head of the church, and the church is His body (Ephesians 1:22-23; Colossians 1:18).
Throughout history many men have built “their own” churches; but the church of the Bible was built in the first century by the Son of God. It began on the day of Pentecost in the city of Jerusalem in Acts 2. As believers, we mean the church which Jesus built – nothing more, nothing less, and nothing besides.
Is the church important?
Contrary to popular opinion that “the church” is unimportant, the Bible not only teaches that the church Jesus built is important, but that it is essential!
The Bible teaches that Jesus is “the savior of the body” (the church, Ephesians 5:23). What Jesus is going to save is His church – for the church is the saved, and those who are saved are the church! It is completely contrary to Scripture to speak of “saved” and “church” as separate things, for in the Bible they are the same thing!
It is the Lord’s church that will be saved, and it is through the Lord’s church that God is glorified (Ephesians 3:20-21).
What about the church?
Having explained to our friends what the New Testament church is and why it is important, we need to set forth the uniqueness of what Christ wants for His church.
We live in a religiously confused and divided world. There are numerous religious denominations, and they continue to multiply; but no modern denomination existed in the first century – none! Christ is pleading for undenominational, New Testament Christianity. He is calling for men and women to abandon all man-made denominations, and be simply Christians, members of the church He built.
Conclusion
Let us carefully explain that we are not pleading for “his church” or “her church” or “your church” or “my church,” but rather we are pleading for Jesus’ church: the New Testament church that Jesus promised and purchased, built and bought.
When men and women heard the simple message of the gospel – the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ – and when they believed and obeyed it, the Lord added them to the one church that Jesus built (Acts 2:47). The same word received in the same way today yields the same result: forgiveness of sin and addition to the Lord’s body.
Ours is a Scriptural, winning, successful plea when properly understood. May God help us adequately explain the beauty of the New Testament church!
By John Brown
A recent Ask A Guy article briefly discussed the topic of flirting. Since this is a struggle many young women have, I thought it’d be appropriate to talk about flirting in more detail. Many of us do things completely unaware of how we make other people feel, but we need to choose to be aware and to consider the thoughts and feelings of others before we act.
After researching by asking some of the guys I know, I’ll share with you the things guys specifically view as flirting and temptation, and I’ll give you some suggestions for alternative, pure ways to act.
Physical touch
Guys are tempted by touching. For example, if you give one of your guy friends a back massage, he could be thinking about other ways he’d like to be touched, even if your intentions are innocent, and even if he doesn’t admit it. Instead, give him a high five or a friendly pat on the upper back. Sitting in his lap is also a turn-on, so sit in the chair next to him, or, if there isn’t an available seat, sit on the floor or remain standing (hopefully he is gentlemanly enough to offer his seat!). Full frontal hugs are also tempting to guys. You may simply be hugging a friend, but he definitely notices every inch of your body that’s touching his. If you want to hug him, give him a quick, one-armed side hug.
1 Corinthians 7:1 says that “…it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” It’s important to keep our bodies completely pure for marriage, even when it means going against a desire to touch guys.
Visual Senses
A girl can easily put off a flirtatious air just by what she’s wearing. Guys are very visual and are often tempted when they see a girl dressed in clothes that don’t cover a lot of skin, so respect them, and obey God, by following I Corinthians 10:32: “Do not cause anyone to stumble…” This includes the clothes you wear each day. See our other articles on modesty for some specifics about acceptable and unacceptable clothing.
Speech matters
Sometimes girls aren’t touchy with guys, and they dress modestly, but they lead guys on by the things they say. Basically, if you don’t mean it, don’t say it (and, sometimes, if you do mean it, still don’t say it)! Even if you think you’re just friends with a guy, he may have more feelings for you, and saying flirtatious things could be leading him on. Girls often think this is innocent fun, when really, it can severely bruise a guy’s feelings, and once he realizes you have no intentions of a relationship with him, it could also harm your friendship.
Proverbs 9:13 tells us that “The woman of folly is boisterous, She is naive and knows nothing.” Folly means unrestrained or uncontrolled, boisterous means loud, and naive means lacking experience or judgment, so you could look at it like this: “The uncontrolled woman is loud; she lacks judgment and knows nothing.” You may not mean to come across as uncontrolled or lacking good judgment, but that’s often the way the spontaneous act of flirting is perceived, either by the person you’re flirting with or by other people who are watching your behavior.
Instead, think before you speak, and follow the advice given in I Corinthians 4:6: “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” That verse describes how to be seen in a much more positive light than the woman in Proverbs 9:13, and good guys will respect you more because of it.
God first
Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” If you’re seen flirting with and teasing the guys around you, other people are going to have a negative impression of you. We need to make sure that we’re always striving to portray godliness and to be an example to others, so choose to act in ways that are pleasing to God, instead of teasing to men.
By Davonne Parks
It’s summertime, and that means vacation time! However, many families may either be too busy to take a full vacation away from home, or they are not financially able to do so this year. So, why not recommend a family staycation this summer! In case you’re not familiar with one, a staycation is a fairly new term for a vacation that’s done at home. Many families are now choosing to stay home––or close to home––rather than taking big, extended trips out of town.
The Plan
Planning a staycation can be a lot of fun, and fairly simple. First, come up with a budget and date. You may choose to spend a solid weekend for your staycation, or spread it out over a week or two. Or, if your parents can’t take time off work, plan on doing a different, and simple, activity each night when everyone is home. That’s the great thing about it––it’s totally flexible. Next, discuss with your family what you’d all like to do. You may choose to do one big thing that you’d all enjoy, such as a camping trip to a nearby state park. Or, you could decide on a time frame and let each person choose an activity he or she would like the family to do together (keeping the budget in mind). Below are some fun family staycation ideas, but be creative and come up with some of your own also!
Backyard Campout
No state or local park nearby? Camp out in your own backyard! One benefit? You have your own bathrooms. Grab your camping gear and head out to the great outdoors. Pitch a tent together, make a fire (just check with your local fire codes first), and roast some hotdogs for dinner. Then spend the evening playing cards or talking and looking at the stars. If you don’t have the yard for a campout, pull out some sleeping bags and camp out in your family room. Just the variation alone will make it a special time. And don’t forget the s’mores!
Zoo/Aquarium
The zoo is an easy idea that the entire family can enjoy. Pack your own snacks and lunches to save money, and head out to see some of the amazing animals that God created. Or try out an aquarium if you live near one. Some great zoos around the country (if you live within driving distance) are the San Diego Zoo, the Columbus Zoo, the Cincinnati Zoo, the Memphis Zoo, and the St. Louis Zoo.
Whitewater Rafting/Canoeing
If you live near a river (and have an adventurous family), you may have the exciting option of spending a day on the water. Check your area for whitewater rafting or canoeing guides and availability. Bring a picnic lunch (use waterproof packaging!) and spend the day with your family braving the rapids.
Museum
Many cities have a great selection of museums and science and art centers. If someone in your family enjoys science, history, or art, he or she may choose for the family to spend an afternoon touring a museum or historical site. Bring a lunch to eat nearby at a local park, or find a new, fun restaurant you haven’t tried yet.
Amusement park
If your family lives near an amusement park, this might be the staycation idea for you! Get there early (and on a weekday, if possible) to beat some of the crowds, and bring your own snacks and lunches, since park prices are usually very high. Remember to consider younger siblings who may not be old enough or tall enough to ride some of the rides. Research your amusement park to find activities the entire family can enjoy.
Pizza/movie night, homemade ice cream
A great staycation doesn’t mean you have to even leave your house. One person in your family may opt for the enjoyable idea of some time spent at home with the family, doing something you’re all often too busy to do. Have a pizza and movie night, or cookout and make some homemade ice cream to kick off the start of summer. (No ice cream maker? Check out this super-easy recipe.) Pull out a fun family game, or set up the croquet set or volleyball net.
Ready, Set, Go!
Enough ideas! It’s your turn. God has given us our families (Ephesians 3:14-15), so let’s take the time to appreciate them and have fun with them! Get your family together and discuss some fun options for this latest trend––the family staycation. I’ve given you just a few suggestions, but every family is different. Come up with some unique and creative ideas that your family can enjoy, close to home and much cheaper than the typical family retreat. And don’t forget to take pictures!
By Lisa Grimenstein
Choosing a career is not easy. There are so many choices and specialties out there that the possibilities are seemingly endless. From healthcare to accounting, business to law, there are many jobs, each claiming to be the best.
I wanted this list to be about more than the job salary. Actually, I didn’t want that to be a factor at all. Choosing a career is important because it is something that we plan on doing every day for about 30 years (or more). It needs to be something you enjoy doing and something that you will not be apt to get bored with quickly. This is a list of the careers that are projected to be the fastest growing in the United States. With growing fields it can make it easier to find work within that job market once you are able to meet the qualifications.
1.Physician’s Assistant (P.A.)––Believe it or not, being a P.A. is really becoming popular. Physician’s assistants are able to see patients without supervision (their charts are usually looked over and signed off on by a physician after treatment, however), and they can write prescriptions (for certain medications). According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor, a physician’s assistant is the fastest growing career field.
2.Physical Therapist––Those in this career field work with the elderly and disabled/injured to help them move and keep their bodies physically able to move.
3.Manicurists and Pedicurists––Even through the hard economic times our country has faced it seems as though those in this career stay busy.
4.Environmental Scientist––Examining and cleaning up waste, protecting the environment from harm, and ensuring compliance with regulations.
5.Computer Software Engineers––Two words: Bill Gates. While there is no guarantee to be as big in the business as he is, this industry is quickly growing. There is room for imagination and there always seems to be something new available.
6.Database Administrators––These are the people who manage stored information (customer information or inventories). One part of this career field that is especially significant is patient data. It has to be secure and stored accurately or it could cost people their lives.
7.Dental Assistants––This field provides much preventative care to older patients and usually does the cleaning that you receive as well.
8.Social Workers––Whether you would be a child’s advocate or work with mentally disabled individuals or substance abuse patients, this is a growing field.
9.Veterinary Technologist––If you love animals, this may be a good field to consider.
10.Personal and Home Care Aids––These are people that go into people’s homes and assist them when they are ill. From helping them to the restroom to making sure they take the correct medication, this is a field that really helps others be able to stay at their home rather than go to a nursing home or hospital.
With the job market being so competitive these days, it can be tough to make a decision of this caliber. What if you make a decision and get into a field that has few jobs? That is always a risk. However, try to keep your mind open to other possibilities. If you say you are going to be a nurse and then have a hard time finding a job, be willing to try other jobs (such as a personal or homecare aid). Sometimes it is even necessary to step outside your comfort zone and try something completely different. You may not realize the array of talent God has given you unless you try something. No matter what career choice you make, remember that being a Christian should be your first priority above all else.
By Sarah Ancheta
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