Flirting: Innocent or Not?

aag1I have a lot of guy friends. We hang out and flirt with each other a lot, even though we’re not dating. One of my friends said that I’m tempting and leading them on. I think we’re just having innocent fun. Who is right?

Coming from a guy’s perspective, you very easily could be turning your guy friends on and sending them the wrong messages. Guys are very visual and respond to touch very easily. In fact, I think guys, as myself, respond to touch much like girls do. For example, if one of your guy friends frequently gave you back massages, you might be likely to want to be closer to him in all the wrong ways. It is very similar with guys when you give them the attention they might be needing and the sensual or sexual touch they might be desiring, even though you think it is innocent and playful. For example, sitting in his lap would definitely be a bad idea, as well as frontal hugging.

You should never let your body get too close, intimately, to another guy’s body. You should keep it pure until marriage, no matter what the cost, even if it means going against your feelings and controlling your flirting and playing. Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”

Self-control is very important here. Whatever you’re thinking may not always be the right thing or the pure thing to do. Think of what pleases God. Pray for discernment. If you think there is any chance your actions or comments could be sending your guy friends the wrong messages or introducing impure thoughts, they probably are. Paul says in I Corinthians 10:32: “Do not cause anyone to stumble.” Therefore, you should control your feelings and spontaneous actions. Think before you act. Consider how much control you have over guys’ thoughts, and keep God’s word in mind when it comes to your behavior with the opposite sex.

It’s fine to have close guy friends who you can have fun with, but remember that your actions and decisions not only affect you but others as well.

By Adam Grimenstein

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