College bound

aag1I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, but lately he acts like he doesn’t care anymore! I hate it, but on the other hand he can be the sweetest guy. He helps me with things and he is a gentleman, but sometimes he has his bi-polar ways. There is also a 2-year age difference and he’s going to college this year, but I’ll still be in high school. What should I do? – Dory

My first question is, do you think you are ready to marry him, or that you could marry him? Is he someone who helps you grow and encourages you in your relationship with God? If your heart says no, then you do not need to continue the relationship. If he is not someone whom you can currently depend on to be stable in his actions, he may never be that person.

Having girlfriends and boyfriends is not in itself a bad thing; however, it can lead to temptation and unrealistic expectations of marriage, especially at your age. To remain pure in all of our relationships should be a priority and a call to obedience toward God. If you and your boyfriend have given in to temptation, then you would both be living in an unhealthy and disobedient manner (I Thessalonians 4:3-7). Our past relationships, whether good or bad, influence us in many ways and are carried with us throughout our lives. Also, the popular or “normal” thing to do, which dating sometimes is, is not always the right thing to do. God is preparing someone for you, if His will is for you to someday marry. You just need to trust and follow His direction by reading the Bible, praying, and working on your relationship with God first and foremost. This relationship with God will teach you to be ready to listen and recognize when He places His choice in your life.

It seems to me your boyfriend is taking you for granted. It is easy to take each other for granted, but that is not an excuse for treating you poorly. Taking each other for granted happens often enough in a relationship. I can easily fall into taking my wife for granted; therefore, we must continually work to renew our marriage so we can be thankful for and appreciate one another. The person you choose to share your life with also needs to be willing to work at the relationship, to be thankful for you, and to show that thankfulness by treating you properly.

extra1You must also realize that once he goes to college, he will be starting a new chapter of his life, apart from you. He will be faced with different things that you have probably not faced yet. It’s very easy for us to become comfortable with someone we’ve been with for awhile, and we often don’t want to give up the relationship simply because we feel we’ve invested so much time and energy into it. I encourage you to realistically look at this person and decide if he is someone you could really see yourself marrying, and as a result, growing old with. If not, no matter how hard it may be to admit, it’s time to give up the relationship.

If you have a question you’d like a guy’s opinion about, please let us know!

By Adam Grimenstein

Shoot For The Moon

devo1“Pierce my heart to live up to my full potential,” is our theme for March. The key scripture is Psalm 139:14: “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” To see God’s magnificent and unmatchable power, all you have to do is use any of your senses to recognize that all the things around you were created by Him! We ourselves were created by God Almighty (Gen. 1:27), and our whole duty is to serve Him (Ecc. 12:13; Matt. 4:10). Since we have such a humbling privilege to serve our incredible Master, shouldn’t we make sure we give it our best to live up to our full potential—for Him? Of course! But…how do we do that?

Pray!

Let’s look at James 1:5: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God…and it shall be given him.” Since we know that “with God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:26), it’s logical that if we are working toward our full potential, then before anything else, we should seek His guidance! He loves when we come to Him in prayer and realize that only He is able to strengthen us with His unlimited power. We are also told to “pray without ceasing” (I Thess. 5:17), and believe and trust that God will answer our prayers.

Study!

I like to call the Bible “My Road Map to Life,” because in it, God reveals to us how to be saved, how to grow as a Christian, how to treat others—everything we need to know! Therefore, we can know that by studying it, we will be better prepared to teach others and defend our hope in God. Second Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (emphasis mine). What a comforting thought in our endeavor to reach our full potential! From studying the Scriptures, we come to learn and understand God’s perfect instructions more deeply, so that we can be “equipped for every good work” down every path of life.

Find Support!

Suppose you regularly hang out with a group of people who indulge in worldly desires, have no respect for teachers, parents, and other adults, and use foul language. The simple fact is this: “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits” (I Cor. 15:33). This seems to be one of the hardest truths to grasp, especially as young women, but let’s get serious with ourselves; if we constantly allow those influences in our lives, there’s no way we can reach our full potential. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has unrighteousness with righteousness? What communion has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). We can try to teach unbelievers the paths of righteousness found in God’s Word, but if they desire to continue down their current path, we must sever our ties with them before they drag us down.

devo2Now, you may ask, where are we supposed to find good people to hang out with? At times, it might seem like there aren’t many people who sincerely want to follow the Lord. But we can know who those people are by their fruits (Matt. 7:15-20). The people who are friendly to you no matter what, are honest in their schoolwork, and do not gossip or bring others down by their words are probably the people who will be your true friends—hopefully, you are thinking of your brothers and sisters in Christ! Our Christian family is a great, beautiful blessing, and we should realize they are the best support around! I love the passage in Ecclesiastes about having good friends: “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion…” (Ecclesiastes 4:10, emphasis mine). Our Christian family understands our rejoicings and our sorrows, and they will comfort us in hard times. God blesses us in allowing us to be around other Christians; He knows that we need support, and that it is hard to be strong alone. But let us never forget that even if it seems like no one else is around, our Best Friend is always by our side, and willing to work in us! Surrounding yourself with people who allow the fruits of the Spirit to be evident in their lives (Galatians 5:22-23) will definitely help strengthen you in reaching your full potential!

Look For Opportunities!

Perhaps some of you like to plant flowers in the spring. You have your flowers, dirt, water, gardening tools, and the knowledge of how to properly plant them and keep them alive. But, if you have those things and don’t use them, what good are they? Just so, if we sit around and just have faith that we will reach our potential, we won’t succeed, will we? We have to work (James 2:14-26). I like to use the phrase “look for opportunities” in the place of “work.” There’s a woman going to her car, struggling with a baby bag, a child, and a load of groceries. Offer assistance! An elder’s wife has had surgery and is unable to prepare meals for the family. Why not ask if you could make their dinner one evening? God gives us these opportunities so that we can easily make an impression on others—for Him. When we are constantly on the lookout for ways to reach out and help others, we become a better servant for Christ, we are diligently working to reach our full potential, and we are glorifying God by our good works (Matt 5:16)—and we will be blessed for that!

Landing Among The Stars

devo3A popular quote goes like this: “Shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” That is a wonderful thought! We, as Christians, can relate to that. Paul tells the Philippians in Philippians 2:5 to have a mind like Christ. Although we know we will never be perfect like He is, we are still to strive to be like Him to the best of our ability, asking for His guidance and help. Doing so is still “landing among the stars” in God’s eyes, because we are obeying Him, and doing His will, by giving it our all to reach our full potential. You might be searching for ways to grow. So pray, study, surround yourself with good friends, seek opportunities, and I am confident that “…He who has begun a good work in you will complete it…!” (Phil 1:6).

By Hannah Smith

Our Full Potential

dbr1So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. . . . For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:31, 33

Our theme for March, “Pierce my heart to live up to Your potential for me,” is quite a big challenge. One that we could not accomplish on our own. However, it’s important for us to realize and remember that without God’s Spirit living in us, and without our allowing Him to work in our lives, we can never reach the full potential He has for our lives.

This month’s reading takes us on a journey alongside many people––some, like Jesus, who allowed God to be in control of His life, and others, like Saul, who although starting with seemingly great potential, decided he was better off doing it on his own. In Matthew, we’ll finish the book by reading of Jesus’ ultimate plan for His life––to die for us and be raised again. Isaiah prophesies of Jesus’ plan: “Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors” (53:12). We’ll begin Mark by reading of Jesus’ calling of twelve men whose lives would have had little potential to do great things, had it not been for Jesus’ power.

As we read, we will encounter Ruth, a girl who, although being raised in an ungodly, immoral country, fulfilled God’s potential in her life by choosing Him and His ways, placing in her future lineage the great king David, and later Christ Himself. As we conclude Genesis, we read of Joseph’s unlikely potential amid slavery and imprisonment. We watch as he continued to be faithful to God, resulting in the great potential he had for saving his country and family and becoming second in command only to Pharaoh.

We, too, can live up to the potential God has for our lives if we allow His Spirit to work in us and through us. In doing this, we, like Ruth, choose to allow Him to guide us through our lives. While writing the church at Corinth, Paul says, “Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord’” (1 Cor. 1:31). He reminds them, and us, that whatever we do, we are to do knowing that it is God Who works in us. God has called us and chosen us for a reason: “but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God” (1 Cor. 1:24). As we go about our lives, let us remember that we ourselves “are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in [us]” (1 Cor. 3:16).

By Lisa Grimenstein

Suggested March Reading

dbr2MAR 1 1 Cor 1-2
MAR 2 Gen 32-35
MAR 3 Judg 17-21
MAR 4 Ps 24-26
MAR 5 Job 17-18
MAR 6 Isa 45-50
MAR 7 Matt 23-25
MAR 8 1 Cor 3-4
MAR 9 Gen 36-39
MAR 10 Ruth
MAR 11 Ps 27-29
MAR 12 Job 19-20
MAR 13 Isa 51-55
MAR 14 Matt 26-28
MAR 15 1 Cor 5-6
MAR 16 Gen 40-43
MAR 17 1 Sam 1-5
MAR 18 Ps 30-32
MAR 19 Job 21-22
MAR 20 Isa 56-61
MAR 21 Mark 1-2
MAR 22 1 Cor 7-8
MAR 23 Gen 44-47
MAR 24 1 Sam 6-10
MAR 25 Ps 33-35
MAR 26 Job 23-24
MAR 27 Isa 62-66
MAR 28 Mark 3-4
MAR 29 1 Cor 9-10
MAR 30 Gen 48-50
MAR 31 1 Sam 11-15

Showing Affection

itw1Many people like to outwardly, physically show their affection for their significant other, and in February (the month of love) we’re actually encouraged to do so! This PDA (Public Display of Affection) has become widely accepted in our society, but it’s actually contrary to God’s word.

The problem

Even though PDA seems to be everywhere and is generally acceptable in the world’s eyes, it is not something that we, as Christians, should participate in. We are to be an example to others around us (Titus 2:7-8), and to not conform to what the world is doing (Romans 12:2). We’re also told in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 to “abstain from all appearance of evil,” and displaying affection in public can give an appearance of evil even if we don’t mean for it to.

If someone sees us being physically affectionate with our boyfriend at the mall or school, they may assume (and possibly rightfully so) that we are doing more than that when we’re not in public, which goes against what we’re told to do in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” Even if we’re not behaving inappropriately in private, displaying affection in public can give the appearance of immorality, and we need to make sure that we’re proper, pure examples to others around us.

The other problem with PDA is that it may cause others to stumble, which we’re warned against in 1 Corinthians 8:9-12. If someone sees us kissing our boyfriends in public, they may automatically assume it’s okay for them to kiss their boyfriend whenever they want, too. They may not see you exercise self-control when you’re not in public, and they may end up stumbling in that area because they’re not prepared for the temptations that come with kissing (which needs to be kept to a minimum anyway). Be careful not to place temptation in front of your boyfriend either by encouraging this display of affection, whether public or private.

gossips2bPDA can also lead to gossip. Even though gossip is sinful (Romans 1:28-32), if people see us displaying our affection, they may begin to gossip about us, which can start rumors, whether true or untrue. Rumors are impossible to retract, and they can tarnish our reputation as a Christian, even if we’re innocent. Although we can’t control others’ tendencies to gossip, we need to be careful not to participate in questionable activities that may fuel the fire of a gossiper!

Avoiding PDA

Avoiding affection in public is not always easy, especially since it seems to be accepted everywhere. One of the easiest ways to avoid PDA is to closely monitor physical contact. Allowing ourselves to get caught up in the moment is easy to do, but is important to remember to stay more focused on Christ than we are on our date (1 Corinthians 15:3).

It is also important to remember that just because other people may not be around, it doesn’t mean that it is appropriate Christian behavior. Whether others are there or not, God knows our innermost thoughts, and dwelling on impure thoughts and desires is sinful. “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). God knows when we’re giving away a small kiss to our boyfriend, and He also knows when we’re allowing ourselves to want more sexually.

Remember

How we conduct ourselves in public sets our reputation. We should want our reputation to be that of a godly, Christian one. We want people to see Christ through us (Colossians 3:15). If we are caught up in worldly activities such as PDA, that perception will not be achieved. The next time you are out, remember that pure thoughts and pure actions go hand in hand (Matthew 12:34-35), so make sure your actions reflect what should be in your heart.

By Sarah J. Ancheta

A Healthy Resolve: Part Two-B

haf2Yesterday, we introduced idea of not dieting, and eating healthy amounts. Today we’re going to discuss how.

The non-diet

Be careful not to buy into the diet scheme (remember, people who create diet plans make a ton of money off the people who use their plans). Diets are generally meant to be short term in order to help a person reach their “magic” number, but once a person stops dieting, they will usually gain most, if not all, of their weight back. In order for weight loss to be permanent, a healthy lifestyle—and diet—must be maintained. Yes, weight loss is generally slower without a specific diet plan, but it is also healthier, and much more long term.

I have found that the easiest way to eat healthy is to simply get rid of junk food. Talk to your parents if you’re still living at home, and ask them to help you throw out the junk, or to at least stop buying it once it’s gone. If they’re unwilling to do this, talk to them about your favorite junk foods, and ask them to support your desire to be healthier by no longer buying your favorite treats. (If they really want to treat you to something, they can buy you nail polish or bubble bath!)

Your family could keep items such as brownie or cake mix (or make-from-scratch ingredients) in the cupboard, so you can bake if you really have a craving for something sweet. You’ll find that you’re probably much less likely to go to the work of baking something, than you would be to run to the cupboard and grab a pre-packaged cupcake or two. The extra work will make you really consider if it’s worth it, and you’ll soon find that it usually isn’t. Plus, homemade goodies give you another option – sharing! If you bake brownies, you can save a few for your family, then make a couple of plates to take to various neighbors. The same works for cookies or cakes too. You can bake a cake in two small pans instead of one large pan, and take the other pan to a working mom at your church who may not have time to make homemade treats for her family very often.

haf1If you have a craving for ice-cream, go out for a cone, or purchase a pint of ice cream instead of a half- gallon. The same goes for a candy bar – instead of buying a whole package, purchase one of the smaller bars at the checkout counter.

We tend to think about and want the things we are depriving ourselves of, so allow yourself an occasional sweet treat to curb the craving. When the urge hits to enjoy sweets, think creatively about how to enjoy them without being tempted by the extra calories for several days afterward.

If you must

If you are very overweight, and constantly struggling with your eating habits, you may need to go on a healthy diet for awhile that will help you learn how to be aware of your food. Diets such as Weight Watchers may be a good option, since they don’t cut out any of the food groups, and they teach dieters how to become conscious of their eating habits, plus the optional weekly meetings and weigh-ins help to keep each person accountable to themselves. Before beginning any diet program, however, talk to your doctor and make sure the diet plan you’re thinking of is safe for you. Remember that the main goal in dieting is not just to lose weight, but to learn to make lifestyle changes, which will help you stay healthy in the long run.

Food of the month: Roast beef

Low in carbs, and high in potassium and protein, roast beef is a great food on those cold winter nights (or any other time of year!). An entire meal centered around roast beef only takes minutes to create, and makes the house smell wonderful for hours.

To cook this meal, melt 1 tablespoon of Crisco Shortening in a pan, then brown both sides of the meat on medium.  After roast is browned, carefully pour a cup or two of cold water into the pan (meat will steam), then add peeled carrots and potatoes around and on top of the roast. Throw a sliced onion over that, add salt and pepper, then pour more water in the pan until it’s about halfway up the roast. Place in a 325 degree oven for three to four hours. The roast is done when the internal temperature is 160 degrees, or when the center is tender and no longer pink.

haf3Serve with dinner rolls and milk, and have canned peaches or fresh fruit with low-fat frozen yogurt for dessert. For the entire meal, allow 30 minutes prep time, plus four hours cooking time.

Bonus: You can turn this meal into vegetable soup! After dinner, while the food is still warm, cut up the meat, carrots, and potatoes before placing them in the fridge, along with a container of the broth (if you used the broth for gravy, you could use beef bullion cubes for the soup instead). The next evening, put the broth, meat, and any canned vegetables you want into the mix (my family likes peas and corn). Then add your favorite spices and let the soup simmer for at about 30 minutes on the stove, or as long as you’d like in a crock-pot. Serve with your favorite bread, milk, and some thawed frozen berries on the side. Allow fifteen minutes prep time for this meal, plus 30 minutes cooking time.

Coming up…

Next month, we’ll talk about healthy ways to exercise, but for now, if you’ve resolved to lose a certain amount of weight, or to diet, reconsider your resolution. Think about throwing out your scale (or at least asking your mom to hide it from you), and eating healthier foods without dieting. There are many ways to change bad habits into healthy habits without dieting or feeling deprived, so think creatively, get your family (or roommates) involved if possible, and strive to make this year a year full of healthful choices. Remember that weight should not be the goal – being healthy should be our goal. Forget about your “magic” number, because when we’re eating properly and working to be healthy, a better number on the (occasional) scale will naturally follow.

By Davonne Parks

A Healthy Resolve: Part Two-A

haf1In our quest to become healthier this year, and to encourage readers to do the same, we’re publishing a three-part series about different aspects of sensible health. Last month we discussed the un-magic numbers on the bathroom scale. This month we will talk about diets, or simply “diet.”

Before we begin, let’s take a moment to direct our focus. Jesus doesn’t condemn us by the foods we eat (Matthew 15:11), so we need to be careful not to condemn ourselves, either. Let’s remember that Christ loves us no matter what size jeans we wear! We should, however, want to take care of our bodies, because as we’re told in 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and we need to make sure to take care of that temple.

Just say no to diets

Now that you know that I’m against scales, you probably won’t be surprised to find that I’m also against dieting. This can also be a huge discouragement, as well as potentially very unhealthy. Many diets cut out certain food groups, which isn’t good for anyone, but especially not for young women whose bodies are still developing. In addition to the physical health risks, there are also emotional set-backs. Think about it. We start a diet, are excited for the first three days, then we see dessert. And we want it. So badly, in fact, that we eat not one, but three, slices of cake. Then what happens? We go weigh ourselves on the scale we should have thrown away, are depressed by the awful number, and go eat more cake! Then we spend the next four days gorging on junk food, just so we can start the vicious cycle over again on Monday (the “magic” diet-starting day). This is not healthy! Please keep in mind that if you do eat three slices of cake, you don’t have to gorge for the next several days (or weeks). Just recognize that you need to work on it, throw out the rest of the food to save yourself the temptation, and get back on track right away – don’t even wait until tomorrow!

Keep in mind that the first few weeks will be the most difficult when it comes to changing eating habits, so stick with it, and give your body time to adjust to healthier eating.

Too much, too little

haf2I have an idea that can be followed by anyone, no matter what your weight. Eat healthy and in moderation. Eat only when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re satisfied. Many people will eat for comfort, because they want to procrastinate on something they need to do, or because they want to keep their hands busy while watching TV. To help with self-awareness, try keeping a food journal to assist you in consciously recognizing your motives and food triggers; then learn to do something else instead of eating, such as scrap-booking or jewelry making.

On the flip side, make sure to eat enough. In a desperate attempt to reach the un-magic number on the scale, some people will stop eating enough food. They will limit the amount of food they eat each day, and learn to ignore their growling stomachs. This is also very unhealthy! A person who takes this route will lose weight to begin with, but if this regiment is continued long term, it will land him or her in the hospital or other treatment facility. Someone who starves themselves to a smaller weight will eventually have to begin eating normally again, or they will literally starve to death. When this person does begin to eat normal amounts of food, she will start gaining weight again, depressing her even more. The outcome of under-eating is never good!

To be continued

I think I’ve given you enough to think about for today, so we’ll pause here. Stay tuned, though, because tomorrow, we’ll discuss just how to be healthy without dieting!

By Davonne Parks

Sharing Him: Part 2

stw1In our last article, we introduced the subject of personal evangelism.  I asked each Christian reading the article to make a resolution to try to teach one person about Jesus this year. We have much more to say on the subject, and in future articles we’re going to talk specifically about what we need to be telling people.

But for now, how do we begin?

Let’s start simply and take it from there.  If you are going to be involved in sharing Christ with others (and I hope you will!) then consider the following:

1.  Have an assurance of your relationship with God. It’s going to be impossible for you to positively and confidently speak to others about their relationship with God unless you have assurance of your own.  If you are not fully committed to God, determine that you will be.  Determine that now, and pray for God to help you.  Being a faithful, committed Christian doesn’t demand perfection or flawlessness; it does demand having our priorities in order (Matthew 6:33) and acknowledging God as our first love (Revelation 2:4) and personal Savior.

2.  Have a concern for the lost. Read carefully Romans 10:1-3 and note Paul’s heart-felt concern for his fleshly kinsmen who did not know Jesus.  Let us make sure we have a genuine concern for the lost.  Our motivation is not to win an argument, but to share Christ with others.  There are people all around us who are lost in sin – there is no shortage of people who need to hear the gospel.  Jesus said, “The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few” (Matthew 9:37).  See people as lost, and be concerned enough to want to do something about it.

3.  Have a working knowledge of scripture. We are to be ready always to answer others concerning our Christian hope (1 Peter 3:15).  We don’t have to know everything, but we should have a general knowledge of the Bible.  If you don’t, then now is the time to get started learning.  There is nothing wrong with saying “I don’t know” – there is something wrong if we continue to “not know” (2 Peter 3:18; Hebrews 5:12-14).  If you don’t know, pray about it and determine you’ll find out.  And remember – if you are a Christian, you know what God did for our salvation; telling others what Jesus has done for our sin and what the Bible requires is what sharing Him is all about.

dailybiblereading14.  Make a determined effort to speak to someone today. We all talk about many things during the course of our day – sports, politics, business, job, home, family, hobbies, interests, and so forth.  Decide you are going to discuss the Bible or you own personal walk with God with someone.  Where to start?  Consider some of the following as “opening questions” that can begin a conversation about spiritual matters:

  • “Do you go to church?”  If the answer is “yes,” you can ask the individual where they go, and something about his / her church.  This can lead to an opportunity to tell the friend about Jesus Christ, the Head of the church.  If one answers “no,” then you have the perfect opportunity to invite that person to attend with you.  There are many people who think about “starting to go to church,” they just need to begin.  And a simple invitation from someone they know may help them get started.  There are people waiting to be asked.
  • “Are you a Christian?”  This is a more straightforward question, but one that cuts right to the heart of the matter.  If one answers “yes,” you can ask them about their Christian walk, and what they did to become a Christian.  If one answers “no,” take a few minutes to explain what being a Christian means to you, why you consider it important, and why you like to talk about what God has done for you and in your life.
  • “Have you ever studied the Bible?”  You’ll be surprised how many will say “no, not really.”  Bible study has not generally been a very high priority with most people.  Yet there are many who would really like to know more about what the Bible actually says; they just don’t know how to begin.  So at this point, you might suggest, “How about we get together for some Bible study?”  If this is offered as something to do together, not in a threatening or belittling way, you can find some who are interested.  Set a definite date and time to get together, and keep it to no more than an hour.  You can begin in a very simple way (such as reading and discussing the gospel of John together).  Pray for wisdom in teaching them and that their heart will be open. Remember, God and His Word will do the work.

girlpray5. Make God a natural part of your everyday conversations. When we truly love God and are continually praying and studying His word, our conversations should naturally include God (Luke 6:45). If you find it difficult to talk about God in a natural way, make sure you are focusing on Him enough, and keep talking! Once your lips and heart become used to speaking good things, especially about God, you will find that what becomes unnatural is not including Him in conversation. When we talk about God like He’s our best friend, we often have a larger impact on other people’s thoughts than we realize.

Remember

As you ask these (or similar) questions, remember the goal is to share God with others, in hope that it will allow God to use you to teach them. Decide to tell them about God to open that door. There are many who are looking to find the answers that will satisfy the soul.

As a Christian, you have a message they need to hear.  In all your conversations, always try to leave a door open for another discussion.  We do people no good if we “run them off” and they don’t want to talk with us anymore.

If you are a Christian, more than likely, someone cared enough about you to make sure you knew the Gospel.  Let us all have the same concern for others.  We have some “good news” that’s much too good to keep to ourselves!

More to come…

By John M. Brown

Love Like He Does

devo8With Valentine’s Day here and romantic love (or lack there-of) prevalent on many of our minds, it can be easy to forget about the committed love Christ has for us–which is why we chose this month’s theme to be “Pierce my heart to love like You do.” First Corinthians 13:6-8 is one of the better-known passages in the Bible about love, and one that describes real love very well. “…[Love] rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

Christ’s commitment

Christ was so committed to us that He willingly died for us. God loves us so much that “He sent His only begotten Son” (John 3:16) to die for our sins so that we can have eternal life with Him. What immense love! God wants us to live with Him in heaven to such an extent that He sacrificed His only Son for us! When Jesus was on the cross, He became our sin. As Jesus was being tortured and dying, He cried out in agony, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46). Because of God’s love for us, He had to walk away from Jesus’ cries for help. This is all part of God’s plan for our salvation. “By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation [sacrifice] for our sins” (1 John 4:9-10). And Rom 5:8, “But God demonstrates [proves] His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” What amazing love God and Jesus had for us!

Action, not feeling

From God’s example, we see that love is not just a feeling. Love is showing action or doing something. Christ dying on the cross for us was a significant way to show us how much He loves us. First John 3:18 instructs us to, “…not love in word, or with tongue; but in deed and in truth.” That means that we are to show our love, not just say that we love someone. Jacob showed his love for Rachel when he served her father for her hand in marriage. Jacob said the seven years he served seemed to him only a few days because of how much he loved Rachel (Gen 29:20).

devo2Love is serving others, not out of expecting something in return but of actual love for a person, which we are able to do through God’s Holy Spirit in us. Matthew 20:28 says, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Love does not expect anything in return. Love is not selfish. When we care for a brand-new baby they cannot do anything for us in return, but we still love it, feed it, change it, and care for it. That is unselfish love (1 Corinthians 13:5). We must show our love even when we’re tired or not feeling well. Maybe we had a bad day, but since we may be the only person to show someone kindness, then we are obligated as a Christian, to show love, to serve others, and to be patient and kind toward them.

If we love as God loves, then that often means loving those who are difficult to love. The book of Ruth (only four chapters!) is a great example of real love, put into action, towards a difficult person. We can all be challenging to love sometimes—we are sinners–so we need to have the same love for others as Christ has for us. God even commands us to love those who persecute us. Matthew 5:44 says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” and John 15:12: “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.”

Love your enemies

Loving someone doesn’t give them permission to abuse us. While God commands us to love that person, He does not tell us we are to tolerate abuse or sin in their lives. Perhaps we need to have the mindset that Jesus had at the crucifixion when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He commands us to love Him, and by loving Him we are also showing Him respect. If people are unkind toward us, then they do not have God in them, because 1 John 4:7-8 says, “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one who loves is born of God, and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” God is love and as we have seen, He is the perfect example of love.

devo7We must love our enemies and the people who are rude to us or who don’t appreciate our kindness or goodness. That is so hard to do, but we are told we must do it (Matthew 5:43-48). We don’t deserve God’s love but He loves us anyway and we are commanded to love others, whether or not we feel they deserve our love. Again, it doesn’t mean to allow abusive behavior, but we do have a choice as to how we react to that person. When we can’t love them for their sake, then we must find a way to love them for Christ’s sake–because of His love and sacrifice for us. First John 4:12 says, “No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” It might also help to remember this verse when others hurt us: Romans 8:39, “Nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Love is …

We will conclude with this passage of the true essence of love: 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, “…Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own [not selfish], is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

Carol Gartman

What is Love?

love3“I feel like I am so in love with my boyfriend, but my parents question that. How do I know that what I feel is love?”

Love is a deep word. However, it is often used too casually and carelessly. You have probably heard the phrase “Love at first sight,” but I don’t believe that concept. Love takes work—a lot of work. Sometimes you may not feel very loving toward someone, even though you know you love them. But love is not just about feelings; it is an act involving effort, and a demonstration of selflessness.

When I first met the girl who would become my wife, “love at first sight” was not the case for me. Sure, I was infatuated with her, but I didn’t really know her, so how could I say that I really loved her? Being compatible with someone doesn’t mean that your relationship will result in love. I remember the main reason I wanted to marry her was because I was ready to settle down and work at our relationship, and because she made me a better person and encouraged and strengthened my relationship with God. My infatuation was not the deciding factor; my determination to work at the relationship and be selfless was. And by this point, I knew that I did love my wife. I love my wife more today than I did nine years ago when we met. Real, godly love does not stop growing. There are many examples of couples who have been married 50 years or more and when one dies, the other dies only weeks later. That person became so much a vital part of them that they couldn’t last without them.

When dating, you should be looking for a relationship in which there are biblical qualities of love. It just so happens that there is an entire chapter in the Bible that lists these qualities—1 Corinthians 13.

Ask yourself this question, and be honest: Do you have all these qualities of love for your boyfriend, or are you striving to improve your relationship with these qualities?

Patience: Are you often in a hurry to say your piece? Do you get impatient when he doesn’t call when he says he will?

Kind: Do you make an effort to encourage and build up your boyfriend?

Does not envy: Do you get jealous if he spends his time with other friends, or talks to another girl?

Does not boast: Do you lift yourself up, and in the process put him down?

loveIs not proud: Do you consider yourself better than him, or less of a sinner?

Is not rude: Do you do things to build him up, or do you embarrass him in front of others?

Is not self-seeking: Do you think of yourself first in the relationship, or do you put his wants and needs before your own? Does he do the same with you?

Is not easily angered: Do you anger easily at trivial things that he says or does?

Does not keep a record of wrongs: Do you keep track of little things he does or doesn’t do to upset you? Do you remind him of these things to make him feel guilty?

Does not delight in evil: Do you participate in ungodly activities with him? Does he encourage you to do things that are against biblical principles?

Always protects: Do you try to protect his heart from hurt, and him from the consequences of sinful choices?

Always trusts: Is he someone you can trust? Can he trust you?

Always hopes: Do you have a hope for a godly, lifelong relationship with him?

Always perseveres: Are you willing to work at your relationship to make it one that is pleasing to God?

Remember, our love and obedience for God is the most important and the most effective love to strive for. If you love God and have His directions foremost in your heart, then you can know that your love for other people is genuine.

If you have a question you’d like a guy’s opinion about, please let us know!

By Adam Grimenstein