Showing Affection

itw1Many people like to outwardly, physically show their affection for their significant other, and in February (the month of love) we’re actually encouraged to do so! This PDA (Public Display of Affection) has become widely accepted in our society, but it’s actually contrary to God’s word.

The problem

Even though PDA seems to be everywhere and is generally acceptable in the world’s eyes, it is not something that we, as Christians, should participate in. We are to be an example to others around us (Titus 2:7-8), and to not conform to what the world is doing (Romans 12:2). We’re also told in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 to “abstain from all appearance of evil,” and displaying affection in public can give an appearance of evil even if we don’t mean for it to.

If someone sees us being physically affectionate with our boyfriend at the mall or school, they may assume (and possibly rightfully so) that we are doing more than that when we’re not in public, which goes against what we’re told to do in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” Even if we’re not behaving inappropriately in private, displaying affection in public can give the appearance of immorality, and we need to make sure that we’re proper, pure examples to others around us.

The other problem with PDA is that it may cause others to stumble, which we’re warned against in 1 Corinthians 8:9-12. If someone sees us kissing our boyfriends in public, they may automatically assume it’s okay for them to kiss their boyfriend whenever they want, too. They may not see you exercise self-control when you’re not in public, and they may end up stumbling in that area because they’re not prepared for the temptations that come with kissing (which needs to be kept to a minimum anyway). Be careful not to place temptation in front of your boyfriend either by encouraging this display of affection, whether public or private.

gossips2bPDA can also lead to gossip. Even though gossip is sinful (Romans 1:28-32), if people see us displaying our affection, they may begin to gossip about us, which can start rumors, whether true or untrue. Rumors are impossible to retract, and they can tarnish our reputation as a Christian, even if we’re innocent. Although we can’t control others’ tendencies to gossip, we need to be careful not to participate in questionable activities that may fuel the fire of a gossiper!

Avoiding PDA

Avoiding affection in public is not always easy, especially since it seems to be accepted everywhere. One of the easiest ways to avoid PDA is to closely monitor physical contact. Allowing ourselves to get caught up in the moment is easy to do, but is important to remember to stay more focused on Christ than we are on our date (1 Corinthians 15:3).

It is also important to remember that just because other people may not be around, it doesn’t mean that it is appropriate Christian behavior. Whether others are there or not, God knows our innermost thoughts, and dwelling on impure thoughts and desires is sinful. “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). God knows when we’re giving away a small kiss to our boyfriend, and He also knows when we’re allowing ourselves to want more sexually.

Remember

How we conduct ourselves in public sets our reputation. We should want our reputation to be that of a godly, Christian one. We want people to see Christ through us (Colossians 3:15). If we are caught up in worldly activities such as PDA, that perception will not be achieved. The next time you are out, remember that pure thoughts and pure actions go hand in hand (Matthew 12:34-35), so make sure your actions reflect what should be in your heart.

By Sarah J. Ancheta

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