Archives for June 2008

Welcome to our online magazine!

June 1, 2008 Leave a Comment

Welcome to Pierce My Heart, the brand new online Christian magazine just for teen girls! June 2008 is our premiere issue, and an exciting time for us because we’ve been working towards this for months! Our theme for June is “Pierce my heart in the Son” and our key scripture is 1 John 4:9 “By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.” Please take a look around, vote on our polls, and let us know what you think! Thanks for stopping by!

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Filed Under: In this Issue

Pure Summer Days

June 1, 2008 16 Comments

Welcome to my column…

Wow, relationships!!! They sure can be pretty crazy sometimes! I hope to use this column to talk about a lot of different topics that deal with relationships, such as being content alone, true love, and the pain of breaking up. We will also discuss happiness, safety, what God commands of us, and what He wants for us. I hope that by writing this column, I will help readers to realize what they deserve and how to obtain it. I hope you will learn to put God before everyone else and that we will all develop a better relationship with Him.

Now let’s begin!

The definition of relationship according to Webster’s Medical Dictionary is “an emotional attachment between individuals.” All of us are a part of many relationships—friendships, siblings, student-teacher, and child-parent. All of these associations may not exactly be tension free, but they are still relationships. Connections with others are a major part of our lives; as a matter of fact, they shape our lives and make us who we are. This makes them incredibly important, and becoming a part of any relationship should be considered carefully. Just as you have been told all your life to be watchful of who you choose to be friends with, you should also be very cautious about who you date.

Dating during the summer can be a tough situation, because there is always ample opportunity to “cross the line.” Usually if the relationship is relatively new it will not be as difficult to resist temptation, but if the two of you have been together for some time there may be more pressure. So in this issue I will explain why we should stay pure and suggest different tips to remain pure.

There are many earthly and biblical reasons why you should wait to have sex until you are married. Some earthly reasons to wait are diseases and pregnancy. Those are simple and obvious, but there are reasons that travel deeper, such as the effect it can have on your future marriage. When you are newly married, sex is a special gift for the two of you; it is a way to connect and should be shared with no one else other than your spouse. If you have had sex with someone before your marriage it can make things less significant and beautiful. But with all of that aside, the main reason to not have premarital sex is because it is a commandment of God. In I Thessalonians Paul writes, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God…” (4:3-5) There are many other Biblical examples of this command and many more earthly results of this particular sin, so to help you remain pure I have listed five useful tips below.

1) Whenever a dating relationship becomes truly steady, purity and the value of purity should be discussed. Whether or not the boy is a member of the church, it should be talked about and standards should be agreed upon. Once this has been determined, and both have vowed to remain pure, there are always extra tips that should be considered to keep from falling short.

2) Never be in a place where the two of you can be alone for a long period time, such as a house without others there. Do not go to his house if you know already that no parents or siblings are home, and don’t invite him over if it is the same at your house. If you have plenty of time without fear of interruption you might become carried away with kissing and/or touching. And there is nothing comparable to the shame and guilt of disappointing yourself and God. Always keep yourself in check, and your boyfriend also.

3) Have plans for any time you will be spending together. For this tip, I will use my own relationship as an example. Whenever I go out to my boyfriend’s farm, we always have a basic outline for the day. Nothing ridiculous—just something simple to go by. One day’s plan may go something like this: we can ride the dirt bike, play football/baseball in the front yard, go on a walk down the driveway, and watch a movie with his family. Now this does not mean we can’t stray from the plan by playing basketball or swinging in the hammock, but it does mean that we won’t come to a point with spare time. It is kind of like saying that idle hands can lead to mistakes. Just be aware of what you are doing so that no slips occur.

4) Simply limit physical contact. This means that you don’t have to be touchy-feely all the time to show how you feel about each other. I know that when I started dating my boyfriend two years ago, I felt like I had to hold his hand or be close to him at all times, but now I realize that I don’t have to be. Yes, we still hold hands and stay close to each other, but it’s not a constant thing anymore. I don’t have to hold his hand all the time for him to know how I feel about him. It will be easiest if you start your relationship with some boundaries. If you start being overly touchy at 14 and 15, chances are you will want something more by the time you are 17 and 18. Even though that may seem far away, long-term effects should be on your mind with every decision.

5) Remind yourself often why you choose not to do impure things. What I mean by this is to repeatedly renew your vows to yourself, God, and your boyfriend. Talk with each other about why it is important for both of you to remain in God’s favor. Explain why you want to save yourself for marriage and why that’s important to you. Renewing these vows will keep them fresh in your mind and, therefore, impossible to forget. If you and your boyfriend have already done things that you regret, but are now striving to become pure, talk with him often about how proud you are that the two of you made the decision to please God and how good that makes you feel.

Never forget that God is a forgiving God. As it is written in Acts 3:19, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…” One thing I have grown to understand is that God only wants His creation to be with Him in Heaven, and all that takes is your willingness to accept His son, repentance, baptism, and living steadfastly. This summer, make your main goal to grow pure in heart, pure in mind, and pure in body.

by Shelby Garrett

Filed Under: Dating

Closet Cleanup

June 1, 2008 Leave a Comment

Many Christians would love to start helping other people who aren’t able to do certain things. However, many don’t know where to start, or are too shy, and they often ask, “How do I start?” or “What if I can’t afford it?” There is one place we can begin. We can start by encouraging our shut-ins and the sick in our congregations. We can let them know that we’re there for them, that we miss them, and that we can’t wait to see them worshiping with us again.

To help out and spark ideas of your own, we have come up with some easy, cheap ways to help other Christians stay encouraged! For every issue of this part of the magazine, we’ll come up with projects to help, encourage, love, and get to know other people. We won’t leave anyone hanging—we’ll do the projects ahead of time to make sure that they’re exactly what they’re supposed to be—encouragement to others!

Our first project—and a great way to kick off the summer—is cleaning out one of our closets. Since I (Alyssa) came up with this idea, we cleaned out mine—and what an adventure it was! It was like Christmas! We found things of mine that I forgot I had!

To start, I suggest making three sorting piles. First, have an area designated for donation. This is a great category to have when you’re cleaning out your closets, or any other area of your house. Be realistic about what you can do without. Are you really going to wear that outdated skirt again? Does it even fit? If you plan on fitting into it in a year, will you even want it then? One of the best questions: Will you really miss it if it’s gone? And most of these questions can apply to more than just clothes. How about all those random papers you can’t seem to get rid of? Can you at least compile the information? Next, have a stack for keeping. Make sure it all has a purpose or significance. And it needs to fit back neatly where you’re going to put it. If there’s anything that goes elsewhere in the house, get it back to where it belongs. The third area is very simple: a trash bag. Throw stuff away! This includes anything that is not worthy of donating. If you really wouldn’t want something in its condition, no one else will either. Toss, toss, toss.

After we cleaned out my closet, we took our donation pile to the Goodwill. There are other places you can donate besides this—children’s homes, women’s shelters, clothing drives, and more. Check out your area for places collecting specific items. If your parents can’t take you right away, wait until they’re going out and ask for a ride. If you had a friend help you with the project, you can ask that friend if her parents can take you instead. Like we said, this project is very simple to start the summer out with, doesn’t take too much planning, is very cheap, and is absolutely worth the rewards!

“Go your way selling whatever you have and give to the poor and you will have a treasure in heaven; And come, take up the cross, and follow me.” Mark 10: 21

By Alyssa Sturgill and Rebekah Davis

Filed Under: Helping Hands

Pierce Your Heart

June 1, 2008 5 Comments

What does it mean to pierce our hearts? Since the entire magazine is based on this title, I think we should know exactly what that means. One of my favorite songs is the slightly adapted version of “Pierce My Ear” by Steve Croft. It goes like this:

Stock photo from sxc.huPierce My Ear, Oh Lord, my God
Take me to Your door this day
I will serve no other god
Lord, I’m here to stay.

For you have paid the price for me
With your blood you ransomed me
I will serve you eternally
Your free one I long to be

So pierce my heart, oh Lamb of God
Like you did at Calvary
Love so great you died for me
Your servant I’ll always be

In Bible times, a servant had to serve his master for six years, after which he was free to leave. If the servant had a good master and if he loved his master, he could decide to stay with his master forever, and the servant would then pierce his ear as an outward symbol of his inward devotion, as demonstrated in Exodus 21:2-6:

If you buy a Hebrew servant, he shall serve six years; and in the seventh he shall go out free and pay nothing. If he comes in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master has given him a wife, and she has borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s, and he shall go out by himself. But if the servant plainly says, “I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,” then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or to the doorpost, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him forever.

When we sing the song “Pierce My Ear” we are telling God that He is a good master and we love Him and want to serve him forever. We no longer pierce our ears as a sign of devotion, but we can absolutely have our hearts pricked, or pierced, for Christ, who died to save us, as the Bible says in Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Imagine how wonderful this world would be if everyone had their hearts pierced for Christ the way we are told to in Matthew 22:37: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” We may not be able to change the world, but we can let the Word change us! Let Christ pierce your heart this summer, and forever, so one day, you will hear the long-awaited words, “Well done thy good and faithful servant…Enter into the joy of your lord” (Matthew 25:21).

By Davonne Parks

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Filed Under: Devotionals

Having a Sober Summer

June 1, 2008 2 Comments

It is summer! No school, no homework, just free time to relax, kick back with some friends, and …have a beer? Smoke a joint? It will help pass the time, right? Or will doing those things just make you lose your sense of time? I mean, who wants to remember their summer anyway? There is nothing better to do…or is there?

Many people have heard the phrase “beer goggles.” That phrase means that while someone was drunk, they thought something looked better than what it really did. Isn’t that the same reason people give for trying beer in the first place? They say, “It will take the edge off; it will help you to be yourself.” They tell you how all of your worries and your problems with whatever is wrong in your life will just disappear. Plus, you will instantly be part of this new group of people who are way more mature than any of the non-drinkers. You know that guy you like? Drink a beer with him—you will both relax, and he might even ask you out.

I know all the excuses. I have heard all the lines. I have seen that crowd of people and wanted nothing more than to fit in with them. I learned that, just as other people realize that they were deceived by their so-called “beer goggles,” after drinking, you realize that you, too, were deceived.

Isaiah 28:7 states, “…they are swallowed up with wine, they are out of the way through strong drink, they err in vision, they stumble in judgment.” Alcohol removes the body’s sense of judgment. It slows the reflexes, blurs the vision, and fogs the mind. Someone who is drunk mumbles their words, stumbles in their steps, and loses their sense of self control. Drinking can cause nausea, vomiting, headache, and passing out only to wake up still sick.

Drinking can also lead people into a rage. Their emotions become heightened, and they are not able to make sense of regular, everyday situations. “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise” (Proverbs 20:1). Drinking leads people to break the law. Underage drinking, public intoxication, contributing to the delinquency of a minor (for whoever buys the alcohol), and driving under the influence are just a few of the laws that pertain to the actual act of drinking. The behavior that is then brought on by drinking can lead to other charges, such as vandalism, trespassing, assault, and sometimes even rape. When you drink, you open yourself up to irreparable harm brought on by others. In these situations, others may or may not be under the influence. But either way, you leave yourself open to be taken advantage of. “Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted” (Proverbs 31:5).

While being drunk may make you forget your problems, it does not mean that they are not there. If anything, it will make them worse. When you make the decision to drink, you are still responsible for anything you do or say while in a drunken stupor. When you make a bad decision, such as driving while intoxicated, you are responsible for any injuries you cause due to your drunken state. I guarantee that any decision you make while drunk you will in some way regret the next morning. If you even make it to the next morning. Many people make the decision while drunk to drive or to ride with someone who has been drinking. Some people never make it to the next day. I don’t say that to scare you. It is a fact.

This is the part where addiction becomes an issue. When you awaken with a “hangover,” your body aching and unsure of what did or didn’t happen the night before, you regret getting drunk. Then that whole idea that drinking can make you forget pops back into your mind. So, you drink to forget that you drank. And, so, the vicious cycle begins. You soon have a taste for the alcohol and will do whatever it takes to stay in the state of mind where you don’t care about anything. Not yourself, not your family, but most importantly, not God. As young Christian women, we should do as we are told in Ephesians 5:18, “And be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the spirit.”

While the Bible does not specifically mention drugs by name as it does wine, rational judgment tells us that they fall into the same category. Isn’t alcohol a drug? It is addicting, it causes physical, mental, and emotional issues. They take lives, ruin families, hurt feelings, and take people away from the Lord. Being under the influence of drugs can affect your judgment as much as alcohol can. Just as alcohol ruins your stomach lining and causes sclerosis of the liver, drugs can do numerous things to your body. While the results can vary greatly, ranging from lung cancer to heart disease, the list in between is long. Is it ok to take something, knowing it can hurt you? First Corinthians 6:19 tells us, “What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” We belong to God, and our decisions need to be an example of that commitment to Him.

There are actually several verses in the Bible that tell us to be sober. “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, and be sober and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:13). In 1 Thessalonians 5:8, we are told, “Therefore let us not sleep as do others; but let us watch and be sober.”

Making the decision to quit drinking or doing drugs is usually easy, but following through is not. It involves removing something you have become dependent upon from your life. Sometimes this involves an inpatient treatment center, counseling, and even moving to remove yourself from situations that could cause you to backslide. If you or someone you know has a problem with drugs or alcohol and would like help, there are many places out there to turn to. ChristianCrisisHotline.org is a great place to start. They are a biblically-based organization set up to help give people more information about overcoming drug and alcohol use and to do so by looking to God for guidance. Their toll-free number is 1-866-642-9271. They are available 24-7 and are completely anonymous, so you do not have to worry about others knowing you called. Christian Crisis Hotline will try to find solutions that work best for different situations. If you need more information about ways to help yourself or someone else, they can help you get started on the right track.

I know that not everyone is perfect. As humans, none of us are. But, this summer, as we try to fill up our free time, let’s all say a prayer and take a vow to have a sober summer.

By Sarah J. Ancheta

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Filed Under: Tough Stuff

The Beginning of a Healthier You

June 1, 2008 Leave a Comment

God Cares About Your Health

“And he said to his disciples, ‘Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on’” (Luke 12:22).

Just as God provides us with the tools to grow spiritually healthy, he also gives us the tools needed to grow physically healthy as well. “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Our body, as well as our soul, belongs to God, and just as we study the Bible to grow spiritually healthy, we also need to take care of our physical body.

It’s been a long, uphill struggle most of the time for me to maintain and lose weight. My family has a history of diabetes, and it’s important that I maintain a lower weight. When the Atkins diet came out, it was something that I tried. It cuts the carbohydrates out of your diet. I lost weight. However, this diet is only meant for short-term use, and when I went back to eating regularly, I gained the weight back. It was frustrating.

Next, I tried Weight Watchers, which worked–sort of. I was maintaining my weight but not really losing any. By the time I went to college I was discouraged. In my sophomore year I found something that helped me lose weight (even while eating the school’s food!). So far I have lost twenty pounds, and I hope to lose more. It is called the Best Life Diet by Bob Greene.

The New Food Pyramid

This is the newer version of the food pyramid (it now includes EXERCISE), and it can be found on this USDA website. The food pyramid is intended to help people take in a balanced diet. Find something you like to eat –don’t force yourself to eat it if you don’t like it. To do this, my recommendation is to plan out your meals and to write down everything you eat; this way you are accountable to yourself and are less likely to cheat. Cheating can set you back, so staying within your plan and satisfying your sweet tooth requires creativity. I like Quaker Caramel Corn Rice Cakes (there are other flavors available), Fig Newton cookies (strawberry), and Real Italian Ice. Also, you want to talk to your doctor and see if he or she has any other tips or guidelines for you to follow. Remember, every one of us is unique in what our body needs.

Exercise is the second part of the new pyramid. This is a word that I hate–exercise is something that I dislike doing. It’s also something that I get up early in the morning before class to do. By exercising, you boost your metabolism for a short while, so even when you’re done, your metabolism stays up and you burn more calories. You can learn more about that on the Body and Fitness website.

It’s important to start out slowly and build up as you go along. Start with 15–20 minutes every two or three days. Build up to 30–45 minutes every one or two days. Remember: TAKE YOUR TIME. It’s also easier to start exercising if you plan for it and write it down. Again, talk to your doctor.

While staying active is synonymous with exercise, it doesn’t have to seem like exercise (treadmill, stationary bikes, Stairmasters, weights, etc.). I like to swim and play racquet ball with my friends. Other great summer activities include bike riding, canoeing, roller skating, hiking, and caving. If you’re not into the more active ideas listed, you could even go vacationing and shop all day. So long as you’re moving, it’s considered exercise. And the important thing to remember: have fun.

However, a word of advice if you choose to get in your exercise in the sun: use sun block. Sun block prevents damage to the upper layers of skin by blocking ultraviolet rays. Sunscreen prevents damage from occurring to the living cells below the surface layers, but it does not block ultraviolet rays. More information on the differences between sun products can be found here.

For those of you with a lighter skin tone, use sun block with a higher SPF number. SPF stands for Sun Protection Factor. It’s measured by comparing sun resistance for those with and without sun block. For example, if a person normally burns in ten minutes, SPF 15 will delay the onset of a sunburn for about 150 minutes, allowing the person to stay out in the sun fifteen times longer. But remember to RE-APPLY (especially after getting out the water).

One great summer idea to combine both health and fitness is having a picnic. You could pack it your-self to keep track of what you’re eating, and you could walk or ride your bike to the picnic site.

Food of the Month: Grapes

Grapes are a great source of antioxidants, and these antioxidants have been shown to reduce cardiovascular and cancer risks (it can even inhibit breast cancer cell growth). They are rich in ellegic acid, which also helps fight cancer. Grapes come in many colors: blue, red, purple, black, golden, and green are the most common. The different pigments can improve immune responsiveness. New research also suggests that grape juice can promote brain health and delay neurodegenerative diseases. Drinking dark purple grape juice and similar juices (blueberry and blackberry) three times a week reduces your chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease by around 70 percent. For more information , about the health benefits of grapes, click here.

If anyone has any comments, suggestions, tips for a healthier lifestyle, topics you would like me to discuss, or a story to share, please send them to Pierce My Heart and I will try to post as many as possible.

By Megan Skinner

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Filed Under: Health and Fitness

Breaking Bonds

June 1, 2008 1 Comment

At some time in our lives most of us have had a bad friend. A friend who, for some reason or another, we believed supported us and our ideals. In reality, that friend just wanted someone who would make it seem like they were not alone in their bad behavior. These friends cause us to question our moral values and to stray from our personal relationship with God.

Many times our friends influence our decisions. In high school, it seems as though they influence most of our decisions. Everyone wants their friends to like and support what they do or how they act. But what if our friend is pressuring us to act in a way we know is inappropriate as a Christian? How do we remove that influence from our lives?

Even for people who are not Christians, peer pressure is the number one reason given for doing something they know is wrong. So when you tell people you are a Christian, it is as if you are automatically a target for even more peer pressure. Many people want to see a Christian stumble so that it will make what they do seem okay.

In order to prevent ourselves from stumbling we have to remove bad influences from our lives. Sometimes this means giving up a friendship that we have had for a long time. Summer may be the easiest time to start this process. Since school is out and you will not be seeing those people everyday, you may choose to use your summer to start your social life all over again.

The first step is to keep busy. There is this well-said saying, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” I used to hear it everyday when I was growing up. I hated doing chores and wanted nothing more than to hang out with my friends. But, when asked what we would be doing, I couldn’t give an answer, because we didn’t really know yet. Then I would hear the saying and cringe. I just wanted to fit in. Didn’t my mom understand that? Of course she did. That is why I was not allowed to go unless I could answer the question. She knew that if we really had nothing to do, then that nothing would turn into nothing good.

Volunteer at your local nursing home, hospital, or a shelter for the summer. It looks great on school transcripts and resumes, and you get a good feeling when you help others voluntarily. Aside from that, you will also have a good excuse for why you cannot hang out with that friend who brings you down. You could get a job for the summer, visit people at church, or get involved in your youth group. Do anything to keep yourself from getting involved with someone who is going to pull you away from God. James 4:4 tells us, “…whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.”

You may also need to seek the help of family. This includes your Christian family. Sometimes removing a bad influence takes more than just you. Sometimes our guard can drop and we can be tempted to return to our old ways. This is where family comes in. They will show you support and remind you why you were changing your life around.

Removing negative influences takes time. Filling your time with other things is good, but doing it for a week or two is not going to stop that influence from creeping back up. The full summer would give you enough of a break that you may be able to stay away from the problem for good. When you go back to school, you may still have to face that “friend.” But now when you face them, you may have a different perspective and not be so willing to follow them. Maybe this time, you can lead.

By Sarah Ancheta

Filed Under: Friends

Blast From the Past

June 1, 2008 4 Comments

Peace

As soft as the flowers blooming in springtime,
With the wonderful, surprisingly sweet smell of the evening,
And with the waterfall splashing into the river
It makes me feel like a butterfly fluttering softly through the trees.

By Davonne Parks, written at age 14

Have you ever?

Have you ever wondered who made the river run?
Or who put the sky in front of the sun?
Who made the grass green,
Or the birds sing?

Who put the stars next to the moon,
Making the evening end so soon?
Or who made the flowers scent
As pretty as a peppermint?

Have you ever wondered who made the sound of someone’s laugh
As refreshing as a clear water glass?
Or who made it possible to love
Something as simple as a beautiful white dove?

Who gave us the hope to trust
And love, and do as one must?
Who gave us peace of mind,
Not knowing what we may find?

There’s only one answer
Only one hope, one love
One joy, one faith, one Truth
Only one God.

By Davonne Parks, written at age 12

I AM

I am a teenage girl.
I wonder who it is I am intended to spend the rest of my life with.
I hear my heart pounding in my ears so loudly it is deafening.
I can see myself and, at the same time, wonder how others see me.
I want to live a fulfilling life and, when I die, to be with my Maker for all eternity.
I am a teenage girl.

I pretend that I am a well known writer.
I feel the pressure of succeeding weighing heavily on my heart.
I touch the moon, feeling it slip slowly through my fingertips.
I worry that I will not complete the work in this world that I was meant to complete.
I cry when I think of something someone did for me, so I may have the hope of eternal life.
I am a teenage girl.

I understand the pain of losing someone close to you.
I say there is a perfect plan for everyone on this earth, myself included.
I dream of one day touching the stars.
I try to make others feel happy, just by knowing someone cares.
I hope that one day I will have a beautiful family.
I am a teenage girl.
But, more importantly, I am me.

By Davonne Parks, written at age 14

Filed Under: Gifted Girls Tagged With:

Mixed Swimming

June 1, 2008 5 Comments

My mom doesn’t want me to go swimming with my guy friends this summer because she says it is hard for a guy to keep his thoughts pure when he’s around girls in their bathing suits. What’s worse is she won’t even let me get a bikini! All of my friends are wearing them! She says she’s just concerned for my purity, but I think she’s being way too overprotective. Can you please explain to her that it’s not a big deal??!?!!

–Dying of Heat in Georgia

I know how you feel—you think your mother is being way too restrictive and doesn’t have any idea what’s cool now. While that might be true, she still has your best interests in mind. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you; she obviously just understands teen boys. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to help much with the fashion side of things—check out Alicia’s article for that—but I do think I can help with idea of both sides of the situation and give you a direction to go.

What’s the big deal about a bikini anyway, right? “It’s just a bikini and everyone else wears them.” Or, “That’s just the way things are today.” I’m sure these thoughts have crossed your mind, so let’s think about it for a minute and decide what the real issue is here. If we take a look at 1Timothy 2:9, it says, “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control….” So, girls are supposed to be modest. Anyone can take an honest look at this verse and agree that bikinis aren’t modest. The verse also mentions respectable apparel. I think respectable apparel would be clothes that allow the wearer to be respected.

So, what about swimming with boys? In the appropriate situation, I think this is just fine, but I’d definitely not swim alone with a boy. Even if your intentions are pure, his might not be, and even if they are, he can easily be severely tested. You can help out by talking to your mom and setting up some rules–don’t forget to cover all the bases. Important situations to talk about would include the public pool, pool parties, going swimming on dates, swimming at camp, and swimming at the beach. Taking responsibility for yourself can often be met with greater trust. Of course, in the end, you must obey and respect your parents’ decisions. If they have clearly stated that you may not swim in the company of boys, then don’t. It doesn’t matter if everyone else is, or if you feel uncool, or if you think it’s simply just unfair and too old-fashioned. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1 ESV). This verse in Ephesians does not include the word unless. (This means no switching swimsuits after leaving the house and no lying about who all will be attending that pool party!)

Now for the second half of that question. I will confirm that if you get that bikini, you will get attention. However, it isn’t going to be the attention a Christian girl should be looking for. God designed guys to be visual. We can’t help it; it’s just the way we were made. God made us that way so we can enjoy our wives after we’re married. We are made to like what we see, and to want more of what we see. When God designed us that way, he wasn’t intending for females to walk around in skimpy clothes or bikinis. He was intending for us to have fun with our wives at home. Read Song of Solomon chapter four if you need a better explanation of this! When girls dress immodestly, they are dressing in a way God does not approve of, and they are tempting men to lust over them. All men are tempted in this area—Christians, non-Christians, married, and single. It doesn’t matter who the man is—God designed all of us to be visual! You will be respected more when you’re dressed modestly, and we’ll appreciate you for your godliness and consideration.

Remember that your mom is just trying to protect you because she understands men a little better than you do; so try to listen to her and be patient with her, because she’s doing her best. It might require a little more work and some well-thought-out shopping, but you can find alternatives that will keep both you and Mom happy. Just a simple google search for “modest swimsuit” yields tons of results. You can also try your local mall or other stores, but finding one online that suits your taste might be a little easier.

When looking for a suit, keep a few things in mind:

1. Does this swimsuit cover a lot more than your normal underwear? If not, then call it what it is; don’t believe a name change makes it acceptable to wear in public.

2. Is the suit family friendly? What if you wore this swimsuit with your family at the beach? Would you feel comfortable?

3. Are you embarrassed? Try the suit on and walk outside the changing room. Just how red your face turns is a good indicator!

4. Is it functional? Look for something secure enough that it’s not going to malfunction (think strapless or too loose) if you take a jump off the high dive.

You can look attractive and modest at the same time, so please do all men a favor this summer and cover up.

“And he will spread out his hands in the midst of it as a swimmer spreads his hands out to swim, but the LORD will lay low his pompous pride together with the skill of his hands.” Isaiah 25:11 (ESV)

By Nathan Parks

Filed Under: Ask a Guy Tagged With:

Adorably Modest

June 1, 2008 5 Comments

Dressing modestly is important!

Take a good look at this picture. Two girls, both wearing cute swimsuits, but the girl on the right has her stomach showing. Does it really make a difference? Look at it from a boy’s perspective. The girl on the left is pretty and confident, and she looks like she’s fun to talk to. The girl on the right is wearing a very small swimsuit, which is the same as seeing her in her underwear. Not only can you see her stomach and legs, but you can also see her breasts peeking out. If she bends over, a guy would get a good view and could easily picture her naked. So, does it make a difference?

Why do Christian women need to dress modestly? When God created man, He made him to be attracted to woman. When teenage boys, or even older men, see a girl dressed in a mini skirt or a bikini, they become turned on because they can easily imagine what she looks like without any clothes at all! “It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak” (Romans 14:21). We need to be very careful how we dress because we can become a stumbling block to young men trying to find and obey God. When we dress provocatively, we invite guys to lust over us, and when they see us dressed like that they assume we are easy. Our bodies are for our husbands to see and desire, after we’re married, and for no one else.

Always remember that as Christians we are the light in the world and it is our job to reflect Christ. A first impression is very important in this. Let’s say you’re walking down the street and you see two girls. One is wearing a mini skirt, high-heeled shoes, a tube top, and huge hoop earrings. She has lots of make-up on, and she’s flirting with three boys standing around her. The other girl is wearing a pair of jeans, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt. She has her hair in a ponytail and is pretty while having only a little make-up on. If you were to choose which one of them was most likely a Christian which would you pick? I think the choice is obvious, and so is the point. The way we dress influences the way people think about us. If we want people to take us seriously as Christians, we have to dress the part.

You don’t have to be covered from head to toe to be modest, but you do have to be careful about shorts and skirts that go too far above the knee, or shirts that scoop down so low you can see the top of your breasts. Be proud of being a Christian, and take time each day to dress nicely and do your hair and make-up. It’s okay to want to look pretty, but there is a clear difference between pretty and immodest. Remember, your body is God’s temple and it’s your responsibility to keep it sacred. Your parents won’t always be there to tell you that your shirt is too short, so why not start making better decisions now.

Choose a style to flatter your body!

Divine Suits has great modest swim wear tips, some of which I will include below.

Large Chest: Choose a style that has solid, dark colors, with accessories such as piping or colored trim. This will de-emphasize your full chest, while bringing attention to other accessories of your suit. Also, the style you choose will need to have a full bra for complete support. The neckline should be simple yet flattering, but should not bring attention to your chest.

Thick Mid-section: Choose a style that has shirring in the middle, or wrap-waist styles. These accessories create an illusion of a smaller stomach. Shirring shapes you and gives a sophisticated look.

Thick Waist: Consider a style with no shirring or accessories in the waist. A simple neckline accompanied with a straight line of style is best—it will bring less attention to your waist.

Small to Medium Chest: Choose any style of tops with solid bright colors, prints, or two-tone colors to give a fuller look without compromising on modesty.

Balance Smaller Bust with Wider Hips: Choose a lighter or patterned top with solid or darker bottoms. Bust or neckline details like piping, bands, sashes or shirring in the middle will flatter this shape as well.

Our Favorites:

$ 0 – 30

$$ 30 – 50

$$$ 50+

Keep in mind that companies now sell tops, bottoms, and skirts separately. And it’s okay to spend a little more on a modest swimsuit that you’re going to keep for a while (there are cute ones out there!). Make sure you feel comfortable in your swimsuit. Take your friends or mom shopping with you for a second opinion on how the suit looks.

Modbe

Modbe is a web store that offers cute, modest swimsuits for girls. Their motto? Modern is as Modest be.

Price Guide

Tops: $$

Bottoms: $

Skirts: $$

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Ohana

Ohana sells one- and two-piece swimsuits that are very surfer chick and very cute. The company is named Ohana because it’s all about family and all about being modest.

Price Guide

One Piece: $$$

Tops: $$

Bottoms: $$

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Target

Target is a store that’s near just about everyone, and even if there isn’t one near you, you can always shop online. Target sells many different types of swimsuits; the trick is to find one that is both modest and cute!

Price Guide

One Piece: $$

Tops: $

Bottoms: $

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Kohl’s

Kohl’s sells a variety of cute swimsuits and can be found in most large cities or online. However, you’re not going to find a one-piece here, so make sure you’re comfortable with a tankini before you go shopping.

Price Guide

Tops: $

Bottoms: $

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Pick a swimsuit that you feel confident and pretty in, but that is also modest. Have fun this summer at the pool, and don’t forget your sunscreen!

By Alicia Marie Sargent

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Filed Under: Style Sense Tagged With:
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