With half of all marriages ending in divorce, most of you have either been directly or indirectly affected by it. In my group of friends in school, I was the only one whose parents were not divorced. I will admit, when my friends bragged about having two birthdays (and two of every holiday), I would get a little jealous. However, I didn’t realize the pain that having two of everything can cause in other aspects of their lives.
Problems in any marriage are inevitable. As much as people may try to have the “perfect marriage,” there is no such thing. However, difficult situations and problems are not always a cause for divorce. The Bible only gives one acceptable reason for divorce. Matthew 5:32: “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery…”
No matter what reason is given for a divorce, it is still difficult for all involved. Even the spouse who may have initiated the divorce may find the consequences of their actions difficult to live with. Children of the marriage may find it especially difficult to live with the sudden change in family stability. Having made no mistake, and not always understanding the reasoning behind the split, children in the home somehow end up having to bear the brunt of the situation. Children are juggled between the two parents, having to change beds, clothes, parenting styles, and homes. It is unfair, yes, but a sad reality of our society’s ever-growing demise of marriage.
As Christians, we all sin. So, as children, it is important to realize that our parents may make mistakes. They may have problems in their marriage. Those problems are no reflection on the children. And, although many children find it difficult to accept the thought of their parents living separately, it is something that needs to be worked out between the parents. It will be hard at times to not get caught in the middle, going back and forth between the two. But, remember that although they may not like or love each other anymore, what they say about each other does not have to control how you feel about them. They are still your parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Trying to adjust can be difficult. Sometimes talking the problem out will help you deal with the situation and find a way to accept the new changes in your life. Going to a parent is usually the best advice; however, depending on the situation of the divorce, it may be best to talk to a counselor, teacher, or friend. A third party with an outside perspective of the situation may be able to offer a different way to look at the problems so that they are better understood and accepted. Above all, make sure to spend time in prayer and reading God’s Word, so you can feel the continual comfort and support from our Father who is always with us.
By Sarah Ancheta
I do not want anyone to feel like I think I am perfect. I am not. I am aware of my weaknesses. I also know my strengths. Frank and I were just unequally yoked 
Many couples come to the point where they feel unappreciated and even rejected by their partners. After a certain point in a relationship couples tend to stop doing what they did when they first started dating, such as surprising each other with presents; it could even be a simple thing like not saying as often how much they care about each other. Keeping a relationship strong is very important to us. Hoping isn’t going to help unless both people are willing to put forth effort. It’s important to put God first, and each-other second. It means you have to sacrifice some things, but in the end you’ll find that it’s worth everything you put into it. The love and companionship of a godly spouse could be all the reward you need.
As a couple, you need to take time to look back together and talk about your shared memories. The sharing of memories will create the feeling of warmth, affection, and love between each other. The sharing of memories can be done verbally, such as saying, “Remember that one time when we were playing football together and I blind-sided you and took you out.” Shared memories can also be visual, like looking through old picture albums at the treasured memories that are captured in the pictures or watching recorded videos you’ve made together—these can bring you closer together.
Whether you are a newlywed or have moved out on your own for the first time, you will need to prepare meals for yourself, your new husband, and any visitors you may have. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have our mothers or grandmothers take us into the kitchen as little girls and show us how to make many different things. Others may not have had anyone to teach them. Some people love to cook, and some people have no desire at all. Even if you had many experiences with cooking, your new husband may have grown up with very different recipes or ways to prepare them. Cooking and sharing a meal together is a great way to unwind and talk about your day, and it is very rewarding to feel like you are a blessing to your husband, family, or visitors. “She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants” (Proverbs 31:15, NKJV). While some of our most memorable times are around the dinner table, preparing meals can become stressful, and having some basic tips can help to alleviate that stress.
As with the kitchen supplies, there are always certain ingredients you should keep on hand. Butter, eggs, milk, flour, sugar, salt, pepper, broths, cooking oil/spray, vegetables, fruits, and frozen meats are some common items that are used in recipes. Once you have an idea of what kinds of meals you will be preparing, create a list of all of the meals you know how to make and that you like. Always keep the basic ingredients stocked in your kitchen, as well as items needed to prepare the meals on your “master list.” Once you have your list of meals, you can even sit down and plan out your meals for each day of the week using that master list. Making 
You may find yourself entertaining more often, and the more you entertain, the better you will become. When deciding what to prepare, keep in mind who is coming, whether it is to be a casual affair or a special celebration, where and when it will take place, and what your budget is. Always plan your main dish first, and remember to complement with side dishes. Make sure the flavors go together. A strongly flavored main dish needs a more mild side dish. If the meal is on the heavy side, try a lighter dessert. People will expect lighter dishes for breakfast and lunch and more hearty dinners. Consider hot foods and rich desserts in fall and winter and fresh, cool dishes in the summer. If there are multiple dishes that need to go into the oven at different temperatures, reconsider some of your options to include dishes that can be served cold, ones that can be served at room temperature, and ones that need to be served hot. Remember to stay organized and relaxed. People are coming over to spend time with you and have a good time. You do not need to impress them with exotic feasts, but serve good food that you enjoy, and your guests are sure to enjoy their time with you. “And make me savory food, such as I love, and bring it to me that I may eat, that my soul may bless you…”(Genesis 27:4, NKJV).
We all grew up in different houses, and so, we all have different concepts of what cleaning is. Some may think even a smidgen of dust is dirty, while others don’t even notice if there’s a layer on every surface. Whatever your preference––or ability to tolerate––it’s nice to have 
Indoor broom
You’ve probably grown up hearing those words: make your bed. And while you may have ignored them many times, nothing cleans up a bedroom more than a bed that is made. And this doesn’t mean tossing your dirty laundry on the bed and covering it with the comforter before guests arrive. Visit 
Of course, before you can iron your clothes, they need to be clean. Many people have had to do some bit of laundry before leaving home, so hopefully this will be somewhat familiar to you. If not, here’s a little Laundry 101.
The big day
This is another area where the expense can really interfere with a bride’s wedding budget. And even if you’re not the professional stylist, many people can create wedding day tresses. As with the makeup, make sure to schedule in several practice sessions. Come equipped with pictures of up-dos and other styles that might suit the bride’s hair type. Curling irons and bobby pins are often an essential part of styling, so have these on hand. And don’t forget all the supplies on the wedding day!
Her wedding is one of the most anticipated things in a girl’s life. We play it as young girls. We dream about it as growing young women. Then the time arrives––the wedding date has been set and it’s time to start planning. And this is where the stress often begins.
Do people tell you you have great handwriting? Offer to help the bride with one of the most dreaded of all pre-wedding jobs––invitations. Set a day, or days, when you can get together and address wedding invitations. Not only will the job go faster, but it will give you some great talk time with your friend in the midst of all the wedding busyness.
After more than 20 years of marriage, we divorced. That was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life. We were in marriage counseling for years and years, and if Frank really wanted to change then he would have in that amount of time. Frank loved himself more than anything or anyone else. I couldn’t take any more of his lies, his unfaithfulness, or his abuse.
I had to learn to be “real.” I always had this false hope that everything would work out––that Frank would change. I couldn’t understand why my prayers regarding Frank were going unanswered. I was hurting…deeply…why wasn’t God hearing my pleas? Then one day, I read in the Bible that God gives people over to their debased minds 
Since the theme for this month is “Pierce my heart to serve,” I thought I’d take this opportunity to discuss a woman’s role in marriage and in society. My generation of women has been privileged to receive the same rights and freedoms as the men in our country. We can vote, become soldiers, work in the government, or be stay-at-home mothers. Our options are never-ending. In many ways this is a great improvement for our world and nation, but it can also hinder us from fulfilling and respecting the duties given to us by God. Sometimes we think that serving our husbands and being submissive to them is degrading or old-fashioned, but remember this: God loves us and would never command us to do something that is not for our best and His glory.
When I was younger I used to say that no man was ever going to boss me around, but back then I didn’t understand the rest of God’s command. Not only did He command wives to be submissive, but He also commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This means there will be no bossing around or controlling. But my husband will love me, and I will serve and respect him. It is meant to be a mutually loving relationship where both give of themselves so that both can be satisfied.
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