Archives for August 2009

Marriage is Honorable

devo1This month’s theme is “Pierce my heart for marriage” and our key scripture is Hebrews 13:4: “Marriage is to be held in honor among all…” The Bible is clear on what love is, and how we are to treat our spouses (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a; Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18-19). But, notice the first verse again. It does not say, “Marriage is to be held in honor among married people” or “Marriage is to be held in honor among those who think they want to get married someday,” but, instead, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all” (emphasis mine).

So, what does it mean to honor marriage? defines honor as “high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank.” Do you have high respect for the married couples you know, and for your future marriage?

Honor married couples

It can be easy to forsake the command of honoring marriage without even realizing it. Married couples are to make their decisions together, jointly, and as a team. If one of our parents says no to something, and we go to the other parent to try to get what we want, we are asking them to become divided as a couple, and we are not honoring that marriage.

If we treat married couples with kindness and gentleness even when we don’t fully understand the decisions they make, then chances are we respect and honor them. If we gossip about them, are rude to one or both of the spouses, judge their decisions, secretly want the husband to notice us, or do anything else that is potentially harmful to their relationship, then we are not honoring their marriage, which is, in turn, sinning against God.

Honor your future marriage

devo2We need to be careful to not only honor the marriages of those around us, but to also honor our future marriage by having godly relationships now, and by keeping ourselves pure for our future husbands (1 Corinthians 7:1-4), praying that they will also remain pure for us.

Apply it

This month, as we’re concentrating on having our hearts pierced for marriage, check the condition of your heart. Are you honoring the marriages of those around you? If not, pray for forgiveness, go to the couple you’ve been dishonoring to ask the forgiveness of both spouses, and strive to do better in the future. Marriage is a gift from God (Genesis 2:22-24), so make sure that you’re honoring all marriages – yours or not.

By Davonne Parks

Congratulations! August Giveaway Winner

ssnecklaceThe random winner of the Love Never Fails necklace is Deb (ardenpostma@)! You should have an e-mail from Pierce My Heart in your inbox. If not, please contact us within seven days to claim your prize.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this contest by leaving a comment on our article . If you didn’t win this month, please try again in September, because we have another fun giveaway coming up.

Congratulations, Deb! We hope you enjoy your new necklace!

– Davonne Parks

Last Chance for Giveaway and Photos!

extra1Today is the last day to submit photos of your sand creations for use in our Gifted Girls article next month. You can send pictures to Info @ PierceMyHeart . com (remove spaces).

This is also the last day to enter to win our August giveaway. The winner, who will be announced on August 31, will receive a necklace.

If you have any questions, please let us know, and we will respond to you as quickly as possible.

– Davonne Parks

Ten Benefits of a Godly Marriage

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is to be held in honor among all…”

tt4Since I’m not married, I asked several older ladies who have been married to Christian husbands what some of the benefits are to being married to a sincere Christian husband, and I’m going to share some of their answers with you, along with advice they offered for how to have a happy marriage.


10) Marriage is a gift from God and is not to be taken for granted. It’s like cement; it’s for life. Selves may not intertwine, but lives do. Shared memories become as much of a bond as the bond of flesh.

9) Your mate is someone with a mutual understanding. Every marriage has problems, but every problem has a godly solution. Think before you say something, and don’t jump to conclusions. Respect your mate even if you disagree.

8 ) The best solution to disagreements is to pray together and talk through your problems. Listen to your spouse’s opinion with an open mind, and be willing to compromise until you reach a godly agreement.


7) Marriage is a social, religious, spiritual, emotional, and legal union of individuals that creates kinship.

6) You have attached yourself for life with someone who desires to work with you in your walk with God and not with someone who will hinder that journey.

extra95) Your life goals are more likely to match up, both for marriage and raising children.

4) You have married a person who will hopefully place you above themselves.  They will love you as Christ loves His church.

3) Your marriage partner should have the same commitment as you do to life–long marriage–and you will have a common faith to keep you binded together during difficult times.

2) You want someone who will place you below God, but above themselves and above any children you may have.

1) You want someone who will help you grow in Christ. You want someone who hates sin, loves what is good, is relentless, persistent, gentle, and seeks wisdom. These are qualities that a husband/father should have. And should you find this man, hold on to him. You fall into lust, but you learn how to love.

By Megan Skinner

Formal Hair

bb11Whether you’re a bride, a bridesmaid, or someone who’d like to help the wedding party with your talents, knowing how to give someone (or yourself) a formal hairstyle can come in handy.

Helpful websites

Since I don’t consider myself to be a hair expert, I thought I’d share a few websites to help you out. offers instructions on several types of formal updos. has a how-to video specifically about wedding hair. offers good tips on giving yourself an updo if you’re doing your own hair without help. If you are unsure about what type of updo will look nice with your face shape, visit

Other tips

Depending on your location and salon choice, a formal updo can cost anywhere from $20 to over $100 per person, so if there’s a family member or friend who can help with hair for free as a wedding gift to the bride, make sure the bride knows about her!

Also, make sure to have a trial run, at least for the bride’s hair, so she can make sure her and the stylist are on the same page. This will also allow for a chance to discover any time-consuming hair issues—something you don’t want to encounter on the wedding day! The trial run should be as far in advance as possible so if the beautician isn’t going to work out, there’s time to find somebody new.

One idea is to schedule the trial run for the day of a wedding party or bridal shower, so the bride can have fun showing off her new style!

– Davonne Parks

Till Divorce Do Us Part

ts1With half of all marriages ending in divorce, most of you have either been directly or indirectly affected by it. In my group of friends in school, I was the only one whose parents were not divorced. I will admit, when my friends bragged about having two birthdays (and two of every holiday), I would get a little jealous. However, I didn’t realize the pain that having two of everything can cause in other aspects of their lives.

Problems in any marriage are inevitable. As much as people may try to have the “perfect marriage,” there is no such thing. However, difficult situations and problems are not always a cause for divorce. The Bible only gives one acceptable reason for divorce. Matthew 5:32: “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery…”

No matter what reason is given for a divorce, it is still difficult for all involved. Even the spouse who may have initiated the divorce may find the consequences of their actions difficult to live with. Children of the marriage may find it especially difficult to live with the sudden change in family stability. Having made no mistake, and not always understanding the reasoning behind the split, children in the home somehow end up having to bear the brunt of the situation. Children are juggled between the two parents, having to change beds, clothes, parenting styles, and homes. It is unfair, yes, but a sad reality of our society’s ever-growing demise of marriage.

ts2As Christians, we all sin. So, as children, it is important to realize that our parents may make mistakes. They may have problems in their marriage. Those problems are no reflection on the children. And, although many children find it difficult to accept the thought of their parents living separately, it is something that needs to be worked out between the parents. It will be hard at times to not get caught in the middle, going back and forth between the two. But, remember that although they may not like or love each other anymore, what they say about each other does not have to control how you feel about them. They are still your parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).

Trying to adjust can be difficult. Sometimes talking the problem out will help you deal with the situation and find a way to accept the new changes in your life. Going to a parent is usually the best advice; however, depending on the situation of the divorce, it may be best to talk to a counselor, teacher, or friend. A third party with an outside perspective of the situation may be able to offer a different way to look at the problems so that they are better understood and accepted. Above all, make sure to spend time in prayer and reading God’s Word, so you can feel the continual comfort and support from our Father who is always with us.

By Sarah Ancheta

Instantly Changed: The Result

Read parts one through four in this series here, here, here, and here.

h2hcI do not want anyone to feel like I think I am perfect. I am not. I am aware of my weaknesses. I also know my strengths. Frank and I were just unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). We are two very different people. He never understood my heart. I used to plead with Frank to open up to me and tell me what was on his heart, but he never would. You see, he had too much to hide. What was really frightening to me was when I received a letter from the woman he was having an affair with. It was his letter to her! He was so open with her. He was bearing his soul to her. He was vulnerable. Frank never showed that part of himself to me and it hurt when I realized that some other woman knew him in that way.

I am an open book. I don’t hide anything and I leave myself very vulnerable to getting hurt. Because of that, I was an easy target for Frank. He was a manipulator and I was easy to manipulate. I let it happen until I started being “real.” Then my life changed for the better. God was answering my prayers. I believe His Word when He said, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord” (Romans 8:28), and I cling to that hope.

Try to know who you are and what you want in life. Don’t let Satan snatch your future away from you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. I took some college courses as the kids were growing, but I never finished college to get my bachelor’s degree. I always wish that I had. I really didn’t find out who I was until later in life. Please don’t wait that long. Find out now…prayerfully set your goals, listening for God’s direction, and don’t let anything stop you! Pray that God will help you to become a woman that He will be proud of. May God bless you all!


Growing closer as a couple

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is to be held in honor among all…”

extra13Many couples come to the point where they feel unappreciated and even rejected by their partners. After a certain point in a relationship couples tend to stop doing what they did when they first started dating, such as surprising each other with presents; it could even be a simple thing like not saying as often how much they care about each other. Keeping a relationship strong is very important to us. Hoping isn’t going to help unless both people are willing to put forth effort. It’s important to put God first, and each-other second. It means you have to sacrifice some things, but in the end you’ll find that it’s worth everything you put into it. The love and companionship of a godly spouse could be all the reward you need.

Gotta have faith

Faith is your first step in a stronger relationship. Couples who worship, pray, and participate in church regularly become closer together as well as to God. Their faith in God is a tie that binds them together. A relationship needs different things to bind it together, such as love, laughter, respect, and the belief in God and obedience to Him. Belief in God is the strongest there is. The earlier you start participating in church and praying with each other, the more likely it is that it will remain that way. Here’s a question for you: When you go out to eat do you often see couples praying together before eating? Never be ashamed to pray in front of random people. You could be encouraging them to do the same.

Talk it out

Communicating is a very important trait to have in a relationship. Couples who aren’t willing to listen to each other and talk openly about any issue they’re having are most likely to drift apart and fight a lot. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly with come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3). I believe that what contributes to a relationship’s success is talking out minor problems or differences before they become an even bigger problem. Even though some conversations you have will result in getting your feelings hurt, do not avoid the issues that are going on. Knowing and acknowledging what’s wrong is a major key in fixing the problem.


Forgiveness is bearing with each other through the rough times. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another.” Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Sometimes you will cause each other pain, and the path that leads to healing is forgiveness. Choosing to forgive one another means looking to the positive and shooting for another chance. When you forgive, it means you’re letting go of the hurt that held you back and that you’re moving on with your relationship. After you forgive, you learn from your mistakes and use the information to make you a stronger couple.

Remember when

extra8As a couple, you need to take time to look back together and talk about your shared memories. The sharing of memories will create the feeling of warmth, affection, and love between each other. The sharing of memories can be done verbally, such as saying, “Remember that one time when we were playing football together and I blind-sided you and took you out.” Shared memories can also be visual, like looking through old picture albums at the treasured memories that are captured in the pictures or watching recorded videos you’ve made together—these can bring you closer together.


A couple cannot grow in love without spending time together. If you have really busy schedules and work all the time, it may become harder to hang out. Try comparing your calendars and looking for times you are able to see one another and plan something special like a movie night or even a game night with just the two of you. Take time out of your schedules to love and cherish each other. Your relationship is at stake if you’re not willing to put in everything you can to make it work.

Grow closer now

You can start growing closer to your spouse right now if you are willing to share your faith, learn to communicate in order to fix problems, forgive each other when you mess up, and take time to be together.

With Christian Love,
Michelle Jane

Cooking 101

haf4Whether you are a newlywed or have moved out on your own for the first time, you will need to prepare meals for yourself, your new husband, and any visitors you may have. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have our mothers or grandmothers take us into the kitchen as little girls and show us how to make many different things. Others may not have had anyone to teach them. Some people love to cook, and some people have no desire at all. Even if you had many experiences with cooking, your new husband may have grown up with very different recipes or ways to prepare them. Cooking and sharing a meal together is a great way to unwind and talk about your day, and it is very rewarding to feel like you are a blessing to your husband, family, or visitors. “She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants” (Proverbs 31:15, NKJV). While some of our most memorable times are around the dinner table, preparing meals can become stressful, and having some basic tips can help to alleviate that stress.

Kitchen Utensils

Sort through all of the kitchen supplies you have received as shower, wedding, or housewarming gifts. Some gadgets may be unfamiliar to you, so look at the package and instructions to know how to use them properly. In setting up your kitchen supplies, make sure you have varying sizes of pots and pans with lids, mixing bowls, roast pans, and casserole dishes. You will need some wooden spoons, pancake turners, slotted spoons, spatulas, tongs, a can opener, and some knives. For baking, you will need cookie sheets, muffin pans, cooling racks, a pie pan, and a set of measuring spoons and cups. Once you have the basics, you have what you need to make most dishes. Specific pans and utensils can always be purchased as you need them or with gift certificates you have received. If you have minimal cooking skills and not many meal ideas, invest in a cookbook. Many cookbooks contain pictures and uses of each kitchen tool, baking/cooking terms, and “how-to” pictures to cut, slice, measure, and bake correctly.

Cooking Ingredients

haf2As with the kitchen supplies, there are always certain ingredients you should keep on hand. Butter, eggs, milk, flour, sugar, salt, pepper, broths, cooking oil/spray, vegetables, fruits, and frozen meats are some common items that are used in recipes. Once you have an idea of what kinds of meals you will be preparing, create a list of all of the meals you know how to make and that you like. Always keep the basic ingredients stocked in your kitchen, as well as items needed to prepare the meals on your “master list.” Once you have your list of meals, you can even sit down and plan out your meals for each day of the week using that master list. Making this weekly plan can help with your grocery list, too. You will know what ingredients and side dishes you will need for each meal and whether or not you have it in your pantry already. This will help your budget and can prevent you from having to make multiple trips to the grocery store for things you have forgotten when you begin to cook the meal.

Be Flexible

Never be afraid to try new things, either. Cut out or make copies of recipes you would like to try, and substitute a new recipe for a meal from your main list at least once a week, just for something new. Allow your list to be flexible. Keep ideas of lighter or heavier meal substitutions. If it’s 80 degrees and humid, scrap the beef stew idea for something lighter that won’t have you standing over a hot stove. If you have a slow-cooker, make sure and use it to your advantage on a day when you know you are busy and may not be home in time to prepare a big meal.


(Betty Crocker’s Cookbook: Bridal Edition)

haf3You may find yourself entertaining more often, and the more you entertain, the better you will become. When deciding what to prepare, keep in mind who is coming, whether it is to be a casual affair or a special celebration, where and when it will take place, and what your budget is. Always plan your main dish first, and remember to complement with side dishes. Make sure the flavors go together. A strongly flavored main dish needs a more mild side dish. If the meal is on the heavy side, try a lighter dessert. People will expect lighter dishes for breakfast and lunch and more hearty dinners. Consider hot foods and rich desserts in fall and winter and fresh, cool dishes in the summer. If there are multiple dishes that need to go into the oven at different temperatures, reconsider some of your options to include dishes that can be served cold, ones that can be served at room temperature, and ones that need to be served hot. Remember to stay organized and relaxed. People are coming over to spend time with you and have a good time. You do not need to impress them with exotic feasts, but serve good food that you enjoy, and your guests are sure to enjoy their time with you. “And make me savory food, such as I love, and bring it to me that I may eat, that my soul may bless you…”(Genesis 27:4, NKJV).

By Sherri Houmard

Mom’s Advice: Clean-up and Supplies

We recently discussed how to make a bed and take care of clothes. Now we’re going to cover basic cleaning tips and supplies needed.

Clean up your mess!

fam2We all grew up in different houses, and so, we all have different concepts of what cleaning is. Some may think even a smidgen of dust is dirty, while others don’t even notice if there’s a layer on every surface. Whatever your preference––or ability to tolerate––it’s nice to have shortcuts for cleaning. Not only will you need to do the general, regular cleaning, there will also be times when certain things will need special attention.

Dirty microwave–– Place a microwave-safe dish of water in the microwave with a lemon slice and bring it to a boil. Once the inside is steamy, open and wipe out the inside with a damp cloth.

Glass Coffeepot–– Combine a mixture of 1 part vinegar to 2 parts water and pour it in your water reservoir. Turn the coffee maker on and let it run completely through. Turn your coffee maker off and allow it to cool for 15 minutes. Pour the vinegar and water mixture down the drain. (You may need to repeat if your coffee maker has not been cleaned in a while.) Rinse the pot out thoroughly with warm water. Then, fill the water reservoir again with clean water and turn the coffee maker on to start the rinsing process. Repeat this rinse one more time to ensure that all the vinegar mixture has been removed.

Garbage Disposal––Smelly disposal? Slice up a lemon into quarters and grind it up in your garbage disposal to freshen the scent and clean the drain.

Don’t do that!

  • Do not add bleach to a load of laundry after the clothes are already in the tub. Add bleach while the water is running, before clothes are added, so that it can be diluted.
  • Do not add dryer sheets to a load of towels. This affects the absorbency of them.
  • Do not mix bleach and ammonia or toilet cleaner. The fumes this creates can be toxic.
  • Don’t allow dirty dishes to set in the sink or on counters for days on end – at the very least, put them in a sink full of hot, soapy water so the grime doesn’t become stuck or covered with bugs.

The shopping list

There are a few things you’ll need when leaving home that will make your housekeeping experience easier.

The tools:

  • fam3Indoor broom
  • Outdoor broom (if you have a deck/patio or garage)
  • Dust pan and brush
  • Wet mop (if you have an area that is not carpeted)
  • Cleaning bucket
  • Vacuum cleaner
  • Dusting cloths (microfiber are great, but an old shirt or sock works and is cheap!)
  • Sponges
  • Scrubbing brush with nylon bristles (for cleaning showers, etc.)
  • Toilet brush
  • Cleaning caddy (makes it easier to carry supplies from room to room)
  • Rubber gloves (to protect your skin from chemicals)

The products:

  • All-purpose cleaner (see our article about organic cleaning supplies)
  • Glass/mirror cleaner
  • Nonabrasive scouring powder (such as Ajax or Comet)
  • Oven cleaner (or you can use your self-cleaning oven if you have one)
  • Furniture polish
  • Toilet cleaner
  • Disinfectant (such as Lysol)

As exhausting as housekeeping may seem, it is doable if you make a routine. Some people choose one room or task to do each day, breaking up the burden of cleaning and keeping house. Others schedule one day a week for “cleaning day,” allowing them to relax concerning housekeeping the other days. Whichever you decide, if you ever have any questions, I’m sure your mom would love to receive a call from you!

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

By Lisa Grimenstein