What defines a Friend?

friends1Since this month’s theme is “Pierce my heart to live up to Your potential for me,” I thought it’d be appropriate to discuss the key qualities found in good friendships. While reading, honestly think about whether or not you are living up to what God wants you to be to your friends. We’re told in John 15:13 that, “No one has greater love than to lay down his life for his friends.” It can be difficult to imagine loving our friends enough to willingly die for them, and yet that’s the greatest love a friend can have! While it may be nice to have many friends, we also need to be discerning in choosing friends who share, or at least respect, our love and obedience for God. These are the friends who will encourage us in our walk with Him and who we can share conversation with about Him.

Other qualities of a true friend

A good friend is positive. Let me ask you something. When looking for a friend do you look for someone you can laugh with, have fun with, and enjoy being with? Or is it someone you can look up to and gain guidance, trust, encouragement and support from? More importantly, what kind of friend are you? Are you a friend who is trustworthy, kind, and encouraging? In order to have a good friend, we must first be a good friend, with a positive attitude.

A true friend is comforting in time of need. When friends cry, it’s good for you to be there to comfort them, whether it’s over a breakup, a family problem, or the loss of a loved one. Solid friendships are comforting, and can help us make it through difficult times. The biggest thing we can do to help may be to simply offer a shoulder to cry on. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “blessed be the…God of all comfort, who comforts us.” Being there for a friend through thick and thin allows you to get closer to them, open up to them and help them to know they can open up to you.. Remember that sometimes even small gestures can have a great impact on someone’s life.

A friend is trustworthy. Trust is one of the most important qualities in a good friend. If there’s no trust, there’s no real friendship. If we feel that a friend is not trustworthy, they’re not the person we’ll go to when we really need someone there for us. True friends are the ones who offer the truth even if it’s difficult. Are you free to trust each other?

friends2A good friend is understanding. Good friends will have empathy for you, but they will not go as far as to pity you. They try their best in understanding what you’re going through and how you feel about it, while also trying to find the best way to help. Galatians 6:2 tells us to share each other’s trouble and problems, but we need to be careful that in sharing our problems, we’re not taking part in self pity or gossip. Do you empathize with your friends, and fully listen to them as they talk through their issues?

Be a friend

Allow God to work in your life, and ask Him to lead you to good friends, if He hasn’t already. Be patient, because His timing is best. When a potential friend crosses your path, allow them to see Christ in you, and live up to the full potential He has planned for you by being the best Christian example and friend you can.

Michelle Jane


  1. Catherine Walker says

    Michelle, I never knew you were such a good writer! I enjoyed this article very much 🙂 You are a great friend and I am soooo happy that I can call you a very very great friend of mine!! I look forward to reading more of your wonderful articles 🙂
    Lots of Love!!!!

  2. Bridgette says

    Michelle. I think this is great. After getting baptized today, I really needed to read this. Thank you!

  3. kaitlyn conley says

    Michelle this is really good!

  4. catherine adams says

    it really inspired me.

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