Not Cool Enough?

“I have a great boyfriend who treats me decently and is a believer in Christ, but he’s not the coolest guy around. Should I let my peers’ words influence how I feel about this guy?”
– Sarah

First, let me ask you a question. Why are your friends not supportive of your boyfriend? It sounds like he is a great guy, with good character. If the reason your friends are not supportive of him is because he is not “cool” or “popular” then your friends are not being constructive; rather, they’re being destructive to your spiritual character, and you should seek other influences. I’m not saying to lose your friends; just seek the advice from other godly people. It is important to remember that you should be dating someone in order for that to lead to marriage. Don’t spend your time dating “cool” guys just for the sake of dating “cool” guys. You should be seeking a relationship with someone who is a godly man.

Here is something to consider: If the only reason your friends don’t think you should date this guy is because he’s not cool enough, then no, don’t allow their words to influence how you feel about him, and beware of potential jealousy tainting others’ words. On the other hand, if your friends have other, legitimate concerns about his character, and sincerely have your best interest at heart, then think about what they say, because often when we’re in a relationship, it’s hard for us to see what is obvious to someone who’s not emotionally attached.

It’s important to know who is building you up and who is tearing you down, spiritually. You need to be discerning and honest with yourself. Does your boyfriend build you up and encourage you in your walk with God, or does he tear you down? Do your friends build you up and support you in making godly choices, or do they discourage you when your choices lean toward biblical principles? If your friends are gossiping about your boyfriend and saying things you know they shouldn’t, then they’re probably tearing you down, as well as him.

Remember, Jesus was not a popular guy (Matthew 10:22), and many people gossiped about Him and spread rumors. He did not allow others’ opinions of Him or His beliefs hinder Him from what He was doing or change what He believed. Godly character can change the world. As important as popularity and fitting in may seem in our world, it is not nearly as significant or eternal as having godly character.

Adam Grimenstein

If you have a question you’d like a guy’s opinion about, please let us know!