Too Shy

“How do you tell a guy that you like him if you’re shy?”

Everyone has a tendency to be shy in certain situations.  Some people handle this very well by overcoming shyness through assuring their confidence and boldness even when they don’t want to. Other people struggle with being shy, sometimes because of a lack of confidence, boldness, or determination. For myself, I have always struggled with shyness around larger crowds of people. When I’m in these situations, I have to remind myself that everyone perceives, or views, me according to the way I act and handle myself. I also have to remember that confidence ultimately should come from God and not of myself! Paul told the Corinthians “Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God” (2 Cor. 3:4–5).

If you want to befriend someone who is intimidating to you, then have confidence in the way you present yourself, and this will be the way they will likely view you. Gaining confidence when you are shy is a very hard thing to do. Always remember that some of the flaws you think you have and see in yourself, other people don’t see. By working on overcoming your shyness, you learn to worry less about what other people think about you, which can cause you to be more outgoing and friendly and can hopefully lead others to Christ. When you start to focus less on how you think other people view you, and more on being a friendly, godly example to others, people will notice that (especially if they have the godly qualities you should be looking for in a friend).

God wants us to be confident. We should be confident in who we are and who God has made us to be. Paul urges us to not have confidence in our flesh—which is sinful and corrupt—but to place our confidence in God. Paul states this to the Phillipians: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6).

I believe dating is preparation for marriage. You may already be praying for your future spouse. Therefore, God will provide the right guy for you, so be patient and do not worry. Try not to be flirtatious or give the guy the wrong messages. Instead, try allowing him to take the initiative. If he asks you out, then tell him you would like to go out together with several people and just hang out and enjoy the time together as friends. If he never asks you out or he doesn’t like the idea of not dating, then you’ve saved yourself the heartbreak of a relationship that was not meant to be, and you will have kept yourself pure in the process while waiting for the person who God wants you to be with.

Remember, God already knows who will make a good spouse for you and you may not even know him yet, so pray for him and trust God will bring you together with the right guy at the right time.

– Adam Grimenstein

If you have a question you’d like a guy’s opinion about, please let us know!