Virtuous Friend Choices

What do you look for in a friend? I’m sure most of us would say that humor, kindness, and common interests are among the top characteristics on our list. I’m also sure most of us believe that our friends are good people who want to do what is right. However, when you take a closer look, how many of your friends could be described as genuine, virtuous, and full of integrity?

A little over a year ago, I met a group of girls who are among the most genuine young women I have ever known. These women really strive to be virtuous. They know that includes how they dress, how they talk, and what they watch and read. I know gossip can be fun at times, and almost instinctive, to women. But these women have their minds set on refusing to do that. There are many fun, cute clothes out there, and we tend to argue that it’s okay to look nice in front of guys. My friends don’t buy into it, and they choose to always dress modestly. They also don’t watch or read immoral things because they are well aware that we are to set our minds on what is good and pure (Phil. 4:8).

If we truly want to be virtuous, and to encourage others to do the same, then we should seek out friends who challenge us to be virtuous as well. Does this mean that you need to get rid of all your friends who gossip and watch bad movies? Not necessarily, because you can be an example to them. But it does mean that you should start making an effort not to participate in the gossip and movies with them. I’ve noticed that since I’ve spent time with these upright women, I am much more convicted not to gossip when I’m with my other friends. I also make a conscious decision not to dress in ways that might tempt men. What good is there from tempting someone to sin? “It is better not to … do anything else that will cause your brother to fall” (Romans 14:20–22). These women challenge me to be a better Christian. When developing relationships with women who truly strive to be virtuous, over time, sin becomes less comfortable and much more noticeable. And so, I challenge you to form relationships with girls who will encourage you with their virtuosity.

By Lisa Grimenstein

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